dealing with a difficult almost step daughter.

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

Need advice on dealing with a unique situation . Been with my boyfriend for 3 years, I have a daughter and he has a daughter both 8 we have known each other from daycare since kids were 3 yrs old so they have been in each other lives for a long time. We all live together in which I use to watch his daughter all the time and all of a sudden she has started not wanting to stay tge night at our house any longer she has been only wanting to stay with her mom, in my opinion his daughter is over dramatic , very bossy and everything has to be her way only on anything. She is argumentive on everything I say to her even if I get onto her for something and always talking back and now I feel she doesn't want to come back to the house because I yell at her all the time.


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[deleted account]

Well jodi, when I say yell I'm not really yelling. . It's a way of expression. I have to stay on her all the time for smarting off and arguing with me, I don't yell at anyone. All I am saying is feedback is great with a, situation that's unique like this because It's hard with knowing your limits as someone that's not really a parent but still an active adult in her life. I am going to try being positive and when I tell her to for example clean and she argue s with me I'm going to try not arguing back and tell her that there are things that will be taken like her tablet for example if she doesn't listen.

Jodi - posted on 12/16/2014




You have just openly admitted you yell at her all the time. Yelling at children serves absolutely no purpose. Stop yelling at her. You can achieve your outcomes without having to yell.

Mommabird - posted on 12/16/2014




If you've been around her for 5 years and she has just now started acting this way, my first thought would be to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. After 5 years she should feel comfortable enough to share her feelings with you. Just going on the information you've given its hard to say why she is suddenly distancing herself. Also, like Shawnn said, if you have changed your role and behavior that could be it too. One, you arent married to her father so you arent a 'mother figure' you are still a friend in her eyes. How much do you expect an 8 year old to cope and understand whats going on? Do you think its because you are now living there and she thinks you are replacing her mother? If you havent already, sit down and talk to a friend, not a mother figure just yet.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/15/2014




I'm betting that your behaviour towards her changed from 'mom of friend' to 'potential step mom'.

Evaluate how you've been treating her, and what has changed since the "I'm dating your father" announcement was made.

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