dealing with a toddler!

Kate - posted on 01/31/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




this is probably a really silly question, and maybe it's more of a vent session, but here goes! i have a 6-month old and a 2 1/2 year old. i took them to story time last week, and we left 10 minutes into it because my toddler had a meltdown that she didn't have a snack like the girl next to me. it was easier to just leave because my infant was getting fussy and i couldn't give the toddler enough attention to calm her down. we tried storytime again today. i sat her down on a bench with other kids with her bag of snacks. she sat there weepy the whole time and then the storytime director said, mom, she's feeling a little insecure, how bout you come get her? so i brought her back on my lap and she wouldn't participate and sat there weepy looking down for the rest of the storytime. even at the end when everyone was singing and dancing, she wouldn't go up and participate. and then again even when there were just a few kids left dancing, she still wouldn't go. i'm so frustrated because i spend so much time and effort into making her confident and secure. this tells me that she's not! so now, as a stay at home mom who hasn't felt the need to enroll her in preschool, am thinking it's time to do that? yesterday i would have described her as someone who loves others kids and is a confident little girl who loves trying new things! now i feel like she's a shy and insecure girl, and i'm worried that the attention that i have to give my infant is resulting negatively. can someone give me some feedback or share experiences? maybe I handled it wrong starting from the beginning when I thrust her into a new situation and expected her to be her normal outgoing self and instead did the opposite? it made me feel like I had been a terrible mom when the storytime director told me to get her off the bench because she was feeling insecure! thanks in advance, moms!! having a rough day here (and extra tired because newborn has had some rough nights...)!


Sara - posted on 01/31/2013




Relax. That's step one. Your child will always have insecure moments regardless of how well you have raised her. In fact sometimes you cannot change that about your child as that is who they are. Ignore the fact that the story time director told you that she was feeling insecure and to come get her. You had to follow her lead because she was directing and she doesn't know your daughter. Kids have off days and she may very well have been having one. And yes your newborn is going to create a whole slew of new behaviours and maybe she is a little insecure about her position with you. Continue to be there for her and reassure her and eventually she will realize that despite the new baby, you are still her mommy. Leave the situation the first time is okay, maybe she wasn't ready or too tired. You just need to listen to her and how she feels, now if you forced her to sit through it solo on both occasions I would have said that was unwise. She will come around, just remember that it takes time to adjust and that your little one will need reassurance when she hesitates. There is nothing abnormal or worrisome about her behavior. :) You are doing great :D

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