Dealing with the stress of Addiction

Rachael - posted on 02/06/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband has an addiction to a drug, he had it in his past before I met him, but now he is using again. All of a sudden he is awake all the time, working on various "projects" around the house remodling the kitchen the bath all for me, but never completing a project. It has made me no longer trust him to be the husband he is supposed to be. I feel like I now need to check my home, his shed, the cars constantly to ensure their are not drugs on my property. He no longer even sleeps in the bed. I have had to be the bread winner as he started his own business which would do well if he was putting more effort into it, instead, he is scattered and getting money for him with his jobs, but not enough to pay bills. I am so stressed out. On top I have a 16 year old girl with the most disrespect in the world. It is almost unliveable only I love my family and I want to see them better. I know they don't have anyone else except me to take care of them so I do. but im exhausted, and becoming depressed and always have anxiety. so I have sought help through medicine, but what I really need is someone to help me through so that I can keep my wits about me. I do not intend to leave my husband, I don't believe in divorce except under Adultary which he does not, so I don't believe to just walk away, I want to help him, but I am getting angrier and angrier and I know my ways are not helping, I don't know what to do, with everything, im just juggling so much and so worried about how to go on. I know I will but I only have my husband and 3 kids, no family of my own, so the loss of my family would be devastating.


[deleted account]

Can you afford a counselor? They will help you to find a place to start.... How long has he been using? Do you often feel like you are trying to 'counsel' him as well as trying to keep everything else together? It's really hard to 'be' an addictions counselor when we are not- My friend and I tried our best to help her husband when he fell off the wagon and their lives started to unravel, we could not do it. At least go see a counselor for YOURSELF (in regards to his behavior). You want to keep yourself healthy and strong (for you, him and the kids) and like you said- to keep your wits about you. On top of that you've got a teenager on your hands. Take care of you - and remember- you cannot be everything to him, spouses CANNOT control their spouses addiction. You probably feel like you need to be there almost babysitting and you cannot, hence- the anxiety, not feeling in control of everything. I'd say get a counselor before things snowball and get worse. I wish you luck.

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