Dealing with women who look down on being a mom

Katie - posted on 05/26/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi there, I'm pregnant with twins (number two and three) and am so very excited! However, all the women I work with are so anti-kids that I am always dealing with them going on about how horrible it is to have to be a mom and that kids are awful. I typically ignore it, but it's hard, especially since I don't have much of a support system with friends outside of work. Has anyone encountered this before? How do you not let it get to you that people are basically mocking your life? Thanks!

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Molly - posted on 05/31/2016

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I thought about his post a lot this weekend. as much as i try to not care what people think about me, it can be hard. i felt judged by my sister in law who had two babies without a complication, at home, and got up and cooked dinner the very night she gave birth. i felt like my miscarriages made me less of a woman-- that because i could not give my husband a child at the time, i was less than her. given that experience, i would encourage you to tell the women who put you down that you are accomplishing God's greatest gift, you are creating a human being! there is no shame in being a mother, it makes you no less than them.
maybe i did not phrase that well but i get what you feel.

Jodi - posted on 05/27/2016

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Personally, I've never cared what anyone thought. When I was pregnant with my first I worked in a very male dominated environment, and the bets were on that I'd never return to work when I had my baby because most women can't handle both (yep, chauvinistic assholes). I just ignored it and did what worked for myself and my family. I was in the office picking up mail and checking my inbox on the way home from the hospital, and that created quite a stir. I didn't care. Just ignore it.

Molly - posted on 05/26/2016

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You know Katie, i do have a similar issue. i get teased quite a bit about being Catholic. for the most part my co-workers tease me in a friendly way, but once in a while they can really gang up and it do feel like my faith is a joke to them. i turn to real friends, or my husband. i guess it is up to you whether you let them bother you or you turn a deaf ear.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/26/2016

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Say something to them! I had women like that with one of my pregnancies, and I, being the fairly blunt person I am, asked them what their problem was. I told them that, if they didn't like/want kids, no one was forcing them, but that I DID want kids, and it really was none of their business as to my reasoning for it.

Congratulations on the new additions! Good luck!

Molly - posted on 05/26/2016

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Hi Katie, I am expecting twins in November (my first babies) and I have not told my coworkers yet. i am an actuary and work with almost all men, so i feel a little weird telling them. i am 15 weeks (almost 16) and just starting to show a bit, since it is summer i may be able to hide it for a bit under loosed dresses and tops. what to the women say to you- do they have kids and aren't happy-- or childless and never want kids. i can't imagine what that must feel like, i would be upset if the men i work with were unkind, they may not know what to say. women's stuff always seem to make them uncomfortable and they treat me pretty much like a guy now. i don't really want that to change-- we have a comfortable working environment. there are a few women in the office setting but i am the only female actuary.

Sarah - posted on 05/26/2016

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I ran into this more within my family than at work. Even though I have a great relationship with my MIL, she is a believer in you have two kids (hopefully one boy and one girl) and you stop. Well I had four, and she has made lots of remarks about what a hassle it is to have four kids, why did we have so many? So I do get what you are saying. Have you considered saying something? Do you think they may not realize that they are hurting your feelings? Congratulations!

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