deciding to have a second baby

Jessie - posted on 11/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi, im a stay at home mother to a beautiful 4 year old girl with sensory integration disorder. My husband didn't want anymore children after my daughter was born. My daughter had a little bit of a hard time when she was born, she spent 6 weeks in the nicu for blood sugar troubles. Later we found out she had hip dysplaysha and celiac disease. And he was afraid our next baby would have the same issues. Now he says he's thought about it and is ready to have another baby but im not sure now is the right time. Although i want baddly to have another baby and our pediatrician says my daughter would greatly benefit from having a sib, we are on a very tight budget and live in a small two bedroom apartment. My husband is supposed to get promoted within the next year but nothing is for sure. I know we could qualify for financial assistance if we had another baby but im not sure having another baby when you your not sure if you can support it is a good idea. I wish we could just wait until he gets promoted but my husband says he doesn't want to have a baby in our thirties. We will both be 29 next year so if doesn't get promoted soon i might be out of luck. Any advice


Sarah - posted on 11/17/2013




I would sit down with your husband and write out a pros and cons lists for both categories (finances and age).....make two different pros and cons lists. So you have a pro and con list for just the age and a pro and cons list for just finances. Then go from there.

I had 2 kids in my 20's 1 in my 30's and possibly 1 in my 40' my personal opinion would be who cares about the age. But that is just me. I will say I was able to enjoy my children that came later in life as we were financially set and I did not have to stress or worry so much. An option that you may need to look at if you have a child now is will the both of you need a job either part-time of full-time to survive. I don't feel it is right to have more children expecting to get financial assistance. Financial assistance should be there for those that are having a hard time....a loss of a job, etc. It should not be there for those that plan another child knowing that they will need to use it or those that have one parent that is not working. I know your daughter may need your there as a stay home mom, so then that is something you need to look at in order to decide what you will need to have in place before having another child. Recognize the differences between your needs and your wants also.....needs are having food, shelter, and clothes for your family....a need might be that you stay home for your it a need that your husband has another child before he is 30? Needs must be able to be meant with having another child.....wants are a decision between the two of you, but if not all the needs can be meant then the wants go out the window.

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