Trisha - posted on 03/19/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
A comment someone on a different threat caused me to start wondering about something. "Don't make decisions in front of the children". At first, my reaction was, "Wait, that doesn't sound like the right thing to do. It doesn't allow you to illustrate how a healthy decision making process is supposed to happen".
I then realized that my husband and I almost ALWAYS give his son the "We will discuss it and talk to you about it later" sentence when he asks us a question where we aren't sure what the other person thinks.
I know the purpose of this process is to show your children the united front, so that it doesn't appear like one parent is more or less tolerant than the other, but at what point, do we allow our children to stick around for the decision making process? Never?
At what point do they start to measure the pros and cons, and weight the consequences of their actions and know what is actually going on? If it was up to us, they would never actually see the process occur.
I have found that when my husband and I have further concerns about a decision regarding my stepson, we will go back to him and inform him of our concerns, and let him attempt to give us reasonable reassurances regarding those concerns. This has defiantly helped some, but sometimes my stepson seems utterly hopeless when it comes to making decisions. This is our fault.
Any insight, or processes that other parents use? Should we make decisions sitting down at the table as a family, with the children listening to the different concerns?