Defiant 8 year old boy!!

Monique - posted on 06/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is 8 years old!! I am at a loss as to what to do now!! It is because of me that I discovered my son was solely responsible for a series of thefts going on at his school!! After finessing the rest of the truth out of him he stole a total of $11 out of the fifth grader backpacks $10 out of third grader backpacks and $60 out of his fathers wallet!! (He is in second grade) he also went so far as to writing "hi bich" (yes spelled without the "t") on a white board in his school hallway!! He also stole various items from the backpacks as well including snacks!! He even takes sweets after being told not too!! He eats them and then hides the wrappers in his room!! I am losing my mind!! He lies often about to stupidest if things too!! Usually I am just asking a simple question and he will lie about the answer!! Then I get pissed when if he would have just told the truth he would not have gotten in trouble in the first place!! My husband and his mother believe he needs to be looked at for ADHD and medicated for it as well as ODD!! I DO NOT want to medicate him!! Has anybody found a solution to similar issues? Thank you in advance!!♥

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Allison - posted on 06/23/2013

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Monique,

I so totally know where you're coming from. Deciding what to do for our son was literally the most stressful thing I've ever experienced, and most people could not understand our pain. The situation brought me to my knees. I hated the thoughts of meds (and I sometimes still do-they're a love/hate relationship and took a year to find the right ones) but also I really was worried about jail someday!! My own late father had substance abuse issues, as well as mental health issues, so of course on top of everything else, I was also worried about ODD....would my son be diagnosed with this someday (as I feel my father probably would have been as a child/teen)? Again, just to give you hope, my son is doing sooooo much better and I don't worry about ODD or Conduct Disorder anymore. Hugs and prayers to you.

Allison - posted on 06/22/2013

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My son takes desperately needed meds for ADHD and yet help him AND us have a "normal" life now, but I understand your resistance to meda. We also did play therapy for a year and it did produce results, plus he loved it. I'm saying this in kindness, and I think you already know, but this repeated stealing and lying is a huge red flag. There is definitely something going on. I'm applaud you for not being blinded by love to this. Act now, momma.

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Monique - posted on 06/22/2013

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Thank you Allison!! In no way do I judge anyone for placing their kids on meds (especially after dealing with all of this)! My concern is for the options to his future!! His dad flys helicopters and if he were ever put on ADHD medication he would not have the option to follow in his fathers footsteps or various other career positions!! However, in the end if he doesn't stop this behavior and I never medicate him then he will end up in prison which will limit his options even more!! So the better of the two options would be to look into medicating him and taking him to therapy!! It is comforting to hear that there could potentially be a light at the end of this dark and dreary cave that they call a tunnel!! ♥

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