delivery room

Robert - posted on 06/19/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My ex wants my 11yr old son to be in the delivery room while my 19yr old daughter has her baby. Does anyone have any thoughts or advise about that?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2013

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Thanks, Evelyn!

Besides that, Robert, who's to say that witnessing the agony of childbirth won't help convince the boy to keep his pecker in his pants until after he's married?

Denikka - posted on 06/20/2013

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If my kids wanted to be at my delivery, I would let them. Absolutely. And I've considered it and my kids are only 4 and 2. I think my daughter (the 2yr old) would be interested, she's already in love with everything to do with the baby, but my 4 yr old would get very bored and antsy very quickly. If they were a little older (i'd say about 6+) and had expressed interest in being there, I would let them, absolutely. You just need an extra person who is prepared to take the child out of the room if there's a complication or they start feeling uncomfortable.

In this particular situation, I'm with the other moms here. It is COMPLETELY between your son and your daughter (and potentially hospital policy) and has NOTHING to do with you or your ex.
As for the *effects* on your son. . .seriously, it's childbirth. Not some traumatic experience. You have someone available to remove him if things become uncomfortable or if something happens. But the process itself shouldn't scar him for life or anything. It's a natural process. And one that I think more males should be involved in, to have the proper respect and understanding. He's 11 years old and perfectly capable of understanding what's going on.

Ev - posted on 06/19/2013

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I agree with Shawnn here. The 19 YO knows what she feels comfortable with and what she does not. And the 11 year old is an uncle to be not a sibling to the baby and that would be different. Not all kids at the age of 11 are wanting to stand in there when a baby is born. Its a very wonderful experience and all but also can be very upsetting to someone under the age of say 15. When I gave birth to my son we had discussed having his sister there for the birth at age 7. We changed out minds though. She was not ready for that. Anyway, it is up to the 19 YO. She should know what she wants and not be pressured into having people in the room she does not want.

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Julia - posted on 06/20/2013

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I would not like it myself. But let your daughter decide. And ask if your son wants to

Chris - posted on 06/20/2013

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It is hard for me to imagine an 11 year old boy that would want to be there a sister that would want him there.

Robert - posted on 06/19/2013

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I thought about the future birth.control advantages but my worry is the short and longterm effects of seeing his sister going thru such a, while beautiful in itself, a horrific and painful experience. I don't think he is mature enough to deal with it. Thank you for your input

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2013

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No, I'm saying that it doesn't matter whether you 19 yo is married or not, YOU don't have a say on who does or who doesn't attend the birth!

What is it with parents who cannot realize that you don't CONTROL a damn thing when your kids reach adulthood?

Like the rest of the ladies have very courteously pointed out, IT'S MOST LIKELY THAT YOUR SON WILL NOT WANT TO BE THERE. But if he does, and his sister wants him there, you and your ex will just have to live with it, because (again) you are NOT THE ONE GIVING BIRTH.

Robert - posted on 06/19/2013

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So your saying an unwed, pregnant 19yr old knows more about the effects of the birthing process on an11yr old sibling than his father or mother? Thanks but no thanks

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2013

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Considering that neither you, nor your ex, nor your son are the ones having the baby, the ONLY person who's opinion and wishes matter at this point are the mother's (the 19 yo, NOT her mother)

Depending on the facility, families (including children) are generally welcome. If sis wants her brother there (AND he is comfortable with it) then she should have him there. You and your ex need to back off the situation.

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The ONLY one who should be deciding who is in the delivery room when a child is born is the mom who is giving birth. Does your daughter want him in there? Does he want to be in there?
I really can't imagine an 11 year old boy wanting to be in there, and I also can't imagine a 19 year old girl wanting her little brother in there. Their wishes should be respected.

Sarah - posted on 06/19/2013

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Personally I don't go there with my kids and would never dream of going there with my kids as siblings. TOO personal and at 19 and 11 I would say inappropriate.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/19/2013

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It is up to the 19 year old and no one else. Usually kids are not allowed in the delivery room so it really may be up to the hospital.

Robert - posted on 06/19/2013

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My daughter is fine with it but that's not my concern. My concern is: how will it effect my son?

Amy - posted on 06/19/2013

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I think it should be up to the person delivering the baby who is in the delivery room. I also think you should find out from the hospital if it's even allowed, and how many people can be in there.

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