**Delivery Room Invites**

Harley - posted on 01/30/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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HI, im expecting my first baby in may.. im trying to figure out people experiance with delivery and who they invited to stay in the room?.. My sons father and I are not togeather anymore, but I know it is an important day for him as well as myself, my only problem is that he is CONTANTLY irritating me by the selfish things he says and he is always rubbing what he has in my familys face and I dont want the stress of that on D day... any suggestions of how I can approach him on this topic?.. basically to say he needs to keep his mouth sshut that day or he is going to be waiting in the waiting room... also my mother seems to have invited herself into the delivery room, but im not really that comfortable with soo many people in there I have a doula and my sister who I invited because i know they will support me the entire time so how do I tell my mom no without hurting her feelings??

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Sarah - posted on 01/30/2015

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I worked in Labor and Delivery for years. I will tell you one way, ask the nurse to do the dirty work. I did it many, many times. It is such a sensitive topic, and you don't want to hurt peoples feelings.
Many hospitals have a policy of only two people in the room for the actual delivery. It can be very chaotic and the bigger the crowd the more confusing it can become. I think it is fair for you to invite the dad. He may drive you nuts but he is the father of this baby. Your doula can help you as well. She can put her foot down and say, "this is too much, everyone out except "sister", Harley needs a break, she needs to focus and relax. She can tell the dad, "let's focus on supporting Harley, if you would like to discuss (whatever is bugging you) it will have to wait." If he keeps at it, tell him "this is not the memory I want to have of you the day our child was born, stop"
You can also just not call people until the baby arrives. Let your sister and the father know that they are the only two invites.

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Gena - posted on 01/30/2015

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Great advice from Sarah! I am sure my mom wanted to be with when i gave birth. But she was on holiday and in the airoplane the moment our son was born..so i didnt have to tell her not to come. I didnt invite anybody to the birth. It was just my husband and I. We wanted it to be a special moment for us only. I would want the same the second time,just me and hubby.

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