Katheen - posted on 06/28/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )
I've posted this story once with little feedback.... Please know this is a cry for help, I'm scared for this child's future.
This is destroying our relationship and ultimately hurting the child. I met my man nearly a year and a half ago, my daughter (who I'll refer to as Rina) was then nearly 5 and his son (we'll refer to as Jay) was nearly 3 and a half. It was obvious from the very beginning Jay was behind and it didn't take long before it became a concern. Though it took awhile before working up the courage to discuss this matter, needless to say Jay's parents were clearly in denial. Jay was born prematurely, his mother was losing embiotic fluid and he was fighting to survive. After an emergency C-Section, barely 7months into the pregnancy, Jay had a slew of problems due to the fact he hadn't developed properly and had obviously suffered some amount of brain damage. He spent the first 2 months in the hospital, and the first 3 years of his life were spent with weekly visits with a team of specialists. His parents knew he was different, he never sat up or crawled till nearly 2 years of age, he didn't start babbling like babies do until nearly 3 and shortly there after he started walking, this is where the trouble starts. Jay's parents believed once he started talking very little and walking a little he no longer needed his team of specialists and they stopped taking him. When I met Jay, he could not communicate more then a few words here and there but often grunted and pointed at things and he would repeat himself over and over and over. He refused to use the pottie, drank from a bottle and was up 3-4times a night. Not to mention he refused to play nicely with Rina, often hitting her for touching his toys or for her getting attention from his father. He would kick, hit, scream, cry and throw things just because his father would sit by me or kiss me, he absolutely needed to be the centre of attention, which I can understand to an extent. But my child grows tired of playing with him becausr of how far behind he is, she often can't understand him. His father allowed him to run the house, he never had a bedtime or a timeout, he never had to eat a meal or clean up his toys.. He was out of control. It took time and convincing but I helped his father potty train him, I devised the plan to rid the house of baby bottles, and began working on how to best help Jay in the long run, (waiting lists for early intervention, hearing and speech, to name a couple).. But his father still believed Jay didn't need help. By four years of age, Jay finally had an MRI. He was finally diagonosed with Cerebral Palsy, and it was then they were shown the extent of the brain damage. His entire brain was effected, and covered in scar tissue. Still this does not worry his parents. Jay is now four and a half, he was supposed to start school this fall but I suggested holding him back. Jay can't say his ABC's, he can't write his name or draw a line, circle or sqaure. He does not know his full name, where he lives and often does not understand the simpliest instructions. He still has accidents frequently, often he'll pee on his bed during time outs or pee in his chair at dinner even after using the washroom before. People outside immediate family, (eg; his mom, dad, grandparents and myself) cannot understand him, he talks in two to four word sentences but will try to get away with talking as little as possible. He still repeats himself over and over, and little is done to correct his errors. He is seemingly in his own world, talking his own language.It is killing me watching him struggle to meet milestones years after he should be achieving them. I love this child and have tried my best to get him help but his own family believes he's fine and will one day just catch up and I should try and ignore it.I'm a mom, and we are raising our children together... How do I ignore a child who needs help. They truly believe Jay is just a few short months behind. He can't go to the bathroom alone, he can't dress himself, he doesn't play with the other children, and the more I try to help the more my man is angered because he believes Jay doesn't need help