depressed and pregnant with #2

Keshia - posted on 12/05/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




Im pregnant with my second child I have a 16 month old boy I never felt like this when I was pregnant with him I was so happy me and my husband were so excited which I am super excited and happy and cant wait for this baby to get here but I just feel so distant from my husband hes a great hsuband and father but this whole pregnancy so far im 15 weeks he hasnt wanted to touch my belly help pick out names rub my back or anything like last time I feel so alone Im pretty much a stay at home mom I work 16 hours a week I only have like 1 friend I just dont know what to do anymore all I ever want to do is cry but I dont I just pretend for everyone im happy Im afraid to admit to anyone im actually depressed I dont think its severe and I dont think I would ever take any medication for depression theres too many weird side effects from that stuff but I dont know how to tell my husband how I feel he probably thinks hes doing nothing wrong maybe he isnt maybe im just over reacting so what should I do I dont want to be depressed and stress with a baby on the way I know its not good for the pregnancy anyone else feel the same way?


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Rebecca - posted on 12/05/2010




You know I felt the same for a long time 2nd time round myself. I think that there is such a fuss for bub#1 that it's hard to accept that things are different 2nd time around. My hubby was the same and when I talked to him about it he said that he knew what to expect this time around, that he was just as excited but this time he knew what was going on. I in the mean time had felt like it wasn't something he found all that important but it wasn't that at all. Hun you need to tell him how you feel. I'm sure there's no problem on his end at all and if you tell him how you feel then hopefully it will make you feel like you're both on the same page. After I talked to my hubby he started to pay more attention (All for my benefit I'm sure) to my belly and we went and layby'd some stuff together. It was the little things. Mind you, it's still not the same as last time still but at least I know where he's coming from. Best of luck hun. This case is a case of needing a good chat I think.

Christy - posted on 12/05/2010




If you are seeing an OBGYN, write down your concerns and go see him/her about possible depression. Maybe he/she can refer you somewhere if it is needed. On the other hand, join a mom's group, there is a great non profit in most areas called (you can go to the site and see if there's a chapter in your area). It has helped me not be so lonely and there are things you can do with the group, like play groups for your 16 m/o, mom's night out, family nights out, field trips, etc. You may not make friends right away, but give it time. It took me a few months to make friends in the group but it was well worth it. I know I was feeling depressed and I think it was more lonlieness than anything.

Also talk to your husband about how you are feeling. He may be oblivious to it and he needs to know.

Good luck!

Angie - posted on 12/05/2010




Let your husband know how you feel. You don't know what he's thinking so don't second guess him. If he's a great husband and father, he probably just doesn't realized that he's upsetting you. He is busier now with a child already in the house - just like you are. As far as depression goes, I don't think you are - I think you are disappointed and there is a huge difference between the two - I know, I am bipolar.

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