Kim - posted on 04/16/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband is normally a happy guy. He loves me and our 4 kids to death. He generally sacrifices anything he can to give more to our kids. Over the past several months I've noticed a change in my husband. He slowly started to get angrier and angrier. On a daily basis now he wakes up angry. Finally about 3 weeks ago we got into a huge argument and we didn't talk for 3 days...I should say I didn't talk to him for 3 days. He claimed that he talks to me all the time, but once a stopped talking he finally realized that we don't talk about anything's all kid talk. Since then he's gotten even worse! I don't want him to be alone with our kids, because he's so angry and he gets frustrated with them so quickly. The days that he is alone with them because I'm working I walk into a complete disaster. This past weekend he did NOT move from the couch. He's finally admitted he's depressed and has sought help, however, he's active duty Navy and is a submariner. If they medicate him he automatically he can't be a submariner anymore which is where things get complicated. He has 16 months left on his contract and thinks he should just suffer through it until then so he doesn't get discharged. Does anyone have any advice? I don't know what else to do. I'm at a loss!


Alison - posted on 04/16/2012




I no absolutely nothing about the Navy and cannot advise you in that department. I do, however, know a thing or two about depression. If he chooses not to medicate, he will need to be more proactive regarding alternate forms of treatment (light therapy, exercise, hobbies, etc.). There are some natural anti-depressants which could help take the edge off. St-John's Wort is one that I have used myself, mostly when prescription meds have been harder to come by. Things like vitamin B complex and omega supplements can also help take the edge off. None of these options will be as effective as a prescription anti-depressant, but if he is not open to going on prescription medication, he's gonna have to do something other than lay on the couch for 16 months.

It is very encouraging that he has admitted to depression and that he has already sought help (this can be the hardest part in the process). Try your best to be encouraging. And seek out ways to meet your needs. Supporting a depressive spouse can be so draining and you've got 4 little ones on top of that! Hopefully you have girlfriends and/or family who can help stand in the gap... giving you a break with the kids, allowing for mommy-time etc.

Hold on to the husband you know. It's going to be tough for awhile, but I am sure you will see him again!!!

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