depression n anxiety

Sarah - posted on 07/12/2010 ( 73 moms have responded )

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well were do i start i have 3 kids under 3 and i have high depression. at the moment i realy do not know what is going on with me any more. i do not feel like going out anymore or less i realy have to. also do not realy want to talk to anyone any more so i have turned my phone off. i can not seem to do anything right anymore i all ways get my self in to trouble and i have no one to talk to about as i realy do not have any close friends. i just want to hide in my bed or cupboard and never get up. i hate my life at the moment.

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Alison - posted on 07/13/2010

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It is not time to go off your meds. You may want to try a new one. I really loved Wellbutrin. I don't think it causes weight gain and it does not have a negative impact on libido which most do. At this stage in your depression, I don't think a night to yourself is going to help you get back on track.

Mary - posted on 07/18/2010

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Hi Sarah,
I encourage you to go see your Docter or a Docter which deals with Mental Health. By the things you talked about in your post, you in my opinion, you sound quite depressed. I to was feeling exactly the way you state you feel. I made the call to Mental Health, went in for my intake, I found I had several things wrong with me including severe depresion. This was just over a month ago. The docter put me on Cymbalta in the morning, and Seriquil before bed. It took a couple of weeks to really get in my system. I feel like a brand new woman. Make the Call Sarah, please! There is no reason to suffer when HELP is just a phone call away.
Good Luck! I will be praying for you.
Mary Self

Erin - posted on 07/18/2010

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I went through the same thing when me and my partner seperated, i cut myself off from everyone, until i realised i needed help, i went to a doctor and was prescribed anti depressants and also see a psychologist which is helping me alot, i still have my down days but nothing like before. i suggest you go and talk to ur doctor and get some advice you are not alone trust me!

Tamra - posted on 07/18/2010

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I know everyone has already said doctor, yep. sometimes you get to point where nothing else is gonna help. I have been there, sometimes its actually a chemical imbalance. I have a 2 and 4 year old and an 11 yr old. I think you must be an amazing person to be able to balance three children under three. If all three kids are fed, washed and happy then you ARE doing something right. and if you need a friend to talk to..contact me, I can always use more friends too.

[deleted account]

Sarah, I've read to the end and agree that you need to see a doctor. Don't be in such a hurry to "kick" the anti-depressant; there are lots of different ones to try and the newer ones don't cause weight gain. Maybe your family doc should refer you to a psychiatrist -- don't get your back up, mine has become a good friend over the years! And, they're way more up on the meds. Secondly, talk therapy is great, but you need to be stable for it to help -- you must be a WILLING participant. Finally, if you can't get hubby's attention (try writing him a letter), maybe you could get a group of friends together a form a "babysitting" coop. Costs only time, not money, and you can "earn" yourself a day off! Good luck and God bless from a Grandma who's "been there".

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Samantha - posted on 08/10/2014

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Don't feel that way because it just makes everything worse. You should get yourself a mentor. Life mentor. That's what IM. I hope all people in different areas. But if you need someone to talk to that's what you should get. If you're looking to find yourself. Are just someone to talk to. Or even something upon business that will help you. But the first thing you need to do. Is to stop and wake up. Get yourself a routine. A routine that you could enjoy what your kids

Samantha - posted on 10/23/2013

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Hi I can relate to u! I am 22 and 33 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and i already have a 1yrold and a 3 yr old... I'm so overwhlemed lately I've been havein anxiety for a month. And I think its turnin into depression...how do u cope? .

Nini - posted on 10/25/2012

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i feel depressed ever since i lst my little boy it seems that nothing can or will ever go right for me - i sit i cry and then i feel mch worse then what i started my day to be - the only reason i seem to keep going on in lifes existence is because of my man - he means the world to me and my family " i feel that they were the only ones who wanted my little boy. Latley i can hardley sleep , im having cold and hot sweats and i feel i cant breathe,i feel alone and hurt and in pain . my heart feels in 1000 peices and when i wake up i cry. i get up at odd times and only have a few hourss to sleep i try to drain myself as much as i can. i dont want to show my partner how i feel because i know i hurt him - i go to have showers and i sit under the water and cry i do this evryday morning and nearly every night. i find crying makes me sleepy and im using it so i can sleep - my appetite is here and there- right now i hate life and everything or anybody who has ever hurt me or tried and i feel like i want revenge on my little boys death

i know im going through depression cause i seem never to smile on my own ever people and my partner try but thats not me smiling and my heart isnt how it used to be :( i felt i had to write here because maybe it might make me feel better. :(

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2010

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well thank beth well i do not know how u do? i feel most of the time a single mum to as my partner sleeps all day till it time to go to work so i really do not see him that much. even when it weekends when its just me and my kids. i feeling a lot better these days. i just think i was having a really bad day. but i did not like what my partner said to me the other day when we were in the car. he said well he friend come down to see him and he also comes down to go to the night clubs and sleep with a chick then goes home to his girlfriend he does this once a mouth. my husband turned around and said i could do that to u and u would not even know. but i would not do that kind of thing to u. well that makes me think. specially when he sleeps on the couch and not in bed and he has not been in the bed since Patrick was born apart from when it was his b day and he wanted sex lol. i did not answer back because. but my mind is working over time now.

Beth - posted on 08/08/2010

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hi sarah

so sorry to hear about how you are feeling, big hugs.

I am a single mum to an autistic child, my parents help out when they can but primarily, i'm on my own. His father has no role in our life, his personal choice. I was finding it very hard to deal with, each week i had a major break down to the point that the police were knocking at my door, after neighbors tried to gain access when my son had been crying for 3hrs (i was in a heap on the floor, closed down). Dr diagnosed me with manic depression, put me on anti D's and i am feeling better, least i am sleeping at night now.

Don't ever feel ashamed of your emotions, near enough everyone has suffered with some form of depression throughout their life, after all, we are only human.

Beth x

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2010

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well i went to my mental health nurse n she told me to go back to my doctor. wel i have n he sad ido not need to go back on the meds. i might need to go n talk to someone. now i have to just make that next step

Josephine - posted on 07/18/2010

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It really sounds to me that your biggest issue at the moment is your "husband"!!..You were saying that when he goes away for a weekend you are stress free and you feel much better until he returns home,and the stress begins again..Domestic violence doesn't have to be physical,emotional violence is very damaging to both you and your children,so I feel that you need to speak with your doctor so as he can direct you to the right person who can help you..You will probably have to do this alone as I really dont think your husband would want to be part of this help..You need to do this for yourself and your children!!..

[deleted account]

handling 3 children and that too all under 3 is a handling a real big show. bringing up children is the most stressful job on earth...so take a chill pill....reward urself ...go out...do things u like..shopping...going to a beauty parlour...eating out...anything...take a break from kids once in a while.

Lisa - posted on 07/17/2010

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YOU DESERVE A MEDAL !!! ..
i too have depression and anxiety and i find life real hard stress triggers and having 3 kids under three means your in a viscious circle .. x
you need to try and find some YOU time .. where u work towards that everyday to get you through the bad times .. just take things a day at a time .. dont dwell on the housework .. and remember you are worth it ! .x.x hugszz.x.

Krystal - posted on 07/17/2010

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hi sarah i am kinda the same as you right now except this is the first time iv had depression, iv got a doctors appointment next monday to get it diagnosed but im 100% sure iv got postnatal depression, i feel alone,angry and i get angry very quickly with my partner and my little boy, im always irritable, i dont want to do anythin even getting dressed, i dont go out much unless i force myself, my house looks like a tip at the mo because my son takes up most of my time as he is very clingy to me i cant even pee without him being by my side, im so exhausted all the time, i cant eat much which is bad as im 5 months pregnant so i try to eat little and often, i cant sleep and when i do i dont want to get up, i cry all the time even over the sillyest things, i feel like such a bad mum for the way i act towards my boy, i love him so much and i know he loves me and needs me. before may i wanted to spend every single minute with him after finding out i was pregnant and comin home to reality after bein on holiday for 2 lovely weeks i started to feel low, at first i just thought it was my hormones but then it just got out of controll and i cant seem to do anythin right anymore, my partner doesnt seem to understand, he just thinks im being lazy and trying to seek attention but if only he truly understood how im feeling, my sister had postnatal depression with both her kids and so did my step brothers girlfriend and they had the same symptoms as what im having now. my stepbrothers girlfriend has had depression since she was 14 and she now 22. i find it so hard not to blame myself for how i feel and i know its not my fault but sometimes i look at my beautiful son and think to myself how can i feel this way, why, im so lucky to have such a beautiful family but im just so unhappy right now and i feel like there is this black hole sucking me deeper and deeper inside and im struggling to fight my way out thats when i knew i had to get help. your not alone sarah there are so many people out there suffering like we are and no matter what people say depression of any kind is an illness and if left untreated can become so serious that in some cases people have tried to harm themselves, i dont ever want to get like that, my depression has only been goin on for 3 months but thats long enough for me and its takin the strain out on me, i need help and i know that now and im not ashamed to admitt that im struggling. i just didnt want people to think i was a bad mother ecspecially my mom she doesnt seem to understand what im goin through because shes never got depressed but i do have my sister and stepbrothers girlfriend as we are very close and they have both been through it. i have to try and remind myself everyday that this isnt me and i have an illness that is taking over and i have to get help. it is true what they say forcing yourself to go out even if its up the park for an hour or a walk around the block for half an hour it helps clear your head and helps keep you sain, my partner is a lovely man and he does help out with our son and the housework but not as much as i need him to, he thinks that because im home all day i should do most of the cleaning but when you have a 14 month old that clings to you like glue, screams his head off if your not givin him attention every five minutes, i struggle like hell, the most i can get done is the hoovering and a bit of washing if im lucky. it really helps talking to someone about your feelings, as i have found it keeping your feelings bottled up inside just makes it 10 times worse. i hope you get the help you need and dont be ashamed to ask for it. best wishes x x

Jan - posted on 07/17/2010

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Sarah, please see your doctor and get help. I myself have anxiety and depression with the same symptoms. My kids are grown but that does not discourage this disease. Please get some meds for this asap and you will feel much better. I am going thru your phase right now myself.

Delma - posted on 07/17/2010

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ITS DREADFUL ISNT IT BUT TAKE IT FROM ME YOU WILL GET OVER IT SEE YOUR DOCTOR FIRST I CAN HEAR YOU SAY NO WAY ITS THE FIRST VITAL STEP TO GETTING WELL I HAD DAYS WHERE I CRIED HID FROM FRIENDS SLEPT BECAUSE I COULDNT FACE GETTING UP AFTER MONTHS OF SUFFERING I WENT TO MY DOCTOR AND I CRIED THROUGH THE FIRST HALF OF THE APPOINTMENT ITOLD HIM I FELT I HAD GONE MAD IT WAS THE DAY I STARTED THE ROAD TO RECOVERY YOU MUST GO YOU WILL LIVE A FULL LIFE OF FUN LAUGHTER AND LOVE BUT PLEASE TAKE THE FIRST STEP AND SEE YOUR DOCTOR BELIEVE ME HE SEES THIS EVERY DAY IN HIS SURGERY LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GET ON DEL

Sheila - posted on 07/17/2010

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Hi Sarah. I am on an antidepressant and it has helped me. Going to see your doctor is a very good idea. A moms group might be helpful and encouraging to you, such as MOPS-Mothers Of PreSchoolers (www.mops.org). You can search for a local group on their website.

Josephine - posted on 07/17/2010

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Sarah it sounds as though you have a very heavy workload with your 3 children and your husband..Maybe you could let your husband know that you are not coping right now and that you need his help until you get through this difficult time..Let him know that if you are not well then who will take care of the children,he needs to share some of the workload!!..Things do get better as the children grow..I have 5 chidren and have suffered as you are now,but things do get better..Accept as much help as you can get,every little bit helps..

Kristen - posted on 07/16/2010

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Sarah, please go and see your GP, and get a referral to a psychologist! Don't take no for an answer either, some doctors don't take mental health issues seriously. You sound like someone who cares about their family, so for their sake and yours, please get some help. From personal experience, I know how hard it is to take the first step and ask for help (especially with anxiety) but it really is worth it.

Darnesha - posted on 07/16/2010

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Sarah,
I dont know what your religion is or anything of that sort but the first thing I encourage you to do is to pray.Prayer changes things for the good for the bad and most of all for those who need a helping hand. God knows your struggle God knows your heart and He would never put too much on you that you couldnt bear. I have gone through the same thing and at one point in time I had suicide on my mind. Also when you speak about your husband it makes me think about alot of things, such as him wanting to be in control of everything and him snapping at every thing you do. i not saying disrespect your husband or anything like it but put your foot down a person will only do what you allow them to do to you. Explain to him that you are just as a hard working person as he is.Your taking care of 3 young children under the age of 3 and its hard. Explain to him how he makes you feel when hes in your prescence. Explain to him that your tired and you need help. Communication is alot in a relationship and without that first you have nothing else. Im always here to talk if you need someone to talk to. I specialize in things like this. Stay strong and keep your head up! God Bless you God Loves you and I love you too!!!!!!

Jan - posted on 07/16/2010

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Dear Sarah, I'm a Mom of 12 - some not so little anymore, and I would highly recommend that you have your hormones checked. With 3 little ones under 3, you are most likely not getting enough sleep, and this can create a vicious cycle. Some would recommend meds for depression, but I'd recommend getting those hormones checked FIRST. You can have a saliva test done through a naturopath or some such health care provider. Wacky hormones can cause depression, anxiety, etc. Trust me, I know! Please have them checked SOON. I care.
Jan

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2010

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first of all you are not alone, many moms are going through the same thing, i was diagnosed with postpartum depression when my daughter was 4 months old (shes now almost two) and it was a struggle dealing with the anxiety of being a new mom and the depression, *hugs* i suggest going to your doctor, i know it may feel like you dont want to do anything and no energy but please see your doctor! things can and will get better trust me, i do still have moments of depression and anxiety to this day but im in a better state of mind now then when i was first seeking help for my depression and anxiety. Also you can look for a local support group for moms in your community, whether its for PPD or just parenting group, i found that if i had something "scheduled" like a play group with my daughter where i could socialize with other ppl it made each week a lot better to get through cause i knew that some of the moms were also going through the same thing

hope that helps! *big hugs*

Stella - posted on 07/16/2010

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Having 3 kids under 3 is really remarkable and takes great strength. You are doing something very few women can do so give yourself a pat on the back. Taking care of 1 child under 3 takes a lot of energy as you constantly have to be on your feet following the child. They are very naughty and like to touch things at this age. Terrible 2's are difficult to handle but try to let off steam as you are doing through this platform. You really need to find someone to talk to (adult). Once in a while you need to be selfish and think of you. Spoil yourself. Do anything but make sure you are treating yourself. You need to realise your self worth again. You are a special woman and God loves you. Your contribution is great and looking after children is an awesome burden given to us. You can do it but you need to talk to people to let off steam. Hope this helps you.

Kim - posted on 07/16/2010

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i it is not good to feel like that and should not feel like that
you may have bi-polor several people in my family have it and it is very cripiling you should go to phychiatrist. the dr can give you medication to make you feel much better
please go for your children's sake as well as your own
you do not want to miss out on these times you can't get it back. You derserve to be happy!

Heather - posted on 07/16/2010

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Let me begin by saying you are in my prayers. I am truly sorry to hear of your troubles and no support. I have three kids as well and have dealt with the depression. I also stay home now and it is a struggle financially of course, but even more it is easy to forget that I am a person too and that I need to have time to myself. I know it is not easy to talk to your husband especially when he seems very closedminded and selfish. Find a clergyman or someone at a church to talk to or you have a whole circle of friends right here on this site. Many of us have walked in your shoes and are happy to listen. I hope that you are able to find comfort and some quiet moments alone soon. Also, someone mentioned flylady.net earlier....go there it is an Awesome resource. I also have used it and it helps tremendously on the homefront war!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/16/2010

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I am a single mom of three girls. They are my life. About two years ago I was really struggling with depression. My mom kept telling me I needed to go to the doctor. I kept saying I know, I know but I never went. They came the Aha moment for me. I was trying to make my kids halloween costumes. Everything was ok until I realized that I had pinned the pattern backwards on the fabric. I had the Meltdown of all meltdowns. I cried for 2 hours on the phone to my pastor. I could barely speak, it was so bad. This is when I realized I needed BIG help. It wasn't fair to my kids that I couldn't cope. My depression was so bad that when I had PMS the sound of paper moving would make me violently mad. I had to stay in a room away from my kids when this happened. They tell me now that sometimes they were scared of me. *MOST HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE WORLD! Talk to your doctor. Sounds like you need something to help you cope with life. That's how it was for me. Not everyday is gonna be sunshine and roses but you need to be happy for your kids. I didn't know I was affecting them until it was almost too late. Be healthy for your kids and just being around them will make you feel better. I promise.

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Sarah, You have your hands full, that's for sure. You might try going to flylady.net. She has been through depression, and she can help you to develop habits to care for your sweet little ones, your home and especially yourself. The website can be overwhelming at first, lots of info. But check out the baby steps. It has helped many of us and I think it would help you, too! I care about you and am praying for you!

Korie - posted on 07/16/2010

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Sarah, I totally understand your situation, I too have anxiety and depression, somedays I just don't want to get out of bed and others I am on a high. I catch myself saying the stupidest things at the wrong moment and later really putting myself down for saying it. I've lost jobs and friends over my wild mood swings. The first thing you must do is recognize it. Figure out is it, lack of sleep, eating the wrong foods (junk and sugary stuff) was it set off my something you saw on TV or is it just frustration that you don't have any adult to talk to. Even the littlest thing can set you off. You need to take control of this. Seeing a doctor is a good idea, meds are great. I have been on a generic brand of Zoloft for years. Depending on the severity of your symptoms they may start you on a high dose then bring the mg down to a level where you can cope with everyday things. I am not sure how you feel about meds. They do have some new stuff out now that may be better. I've been on 150mg for about 6 years. I feel I can cope with most things and recognize when I am going to have an attack. I havent had one in about 6 months, the most severe was about 5 years ago, ended up in the hospital because I wasn't breathing properly and my BP was really low. Scary I know, but as long as you take it one step at a time you will pull through. Have faith in yourself, I believe in you.

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2010

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well thank you again for all your stories and helpful information.well i used to be in a mums group but we ended up splitting up for some reason and i do miss that very much because i used to look foward to going out on mondays and catching up for lunch now once i have droped my daughter off at kinder i try to spend some time with my 2yr n 10mth old i went to mc donalds the other day and just sat there and watched my 2yr play till it was time to pick my daughter from kinder. which i felt good about that as i was out and i was doing nothing for a change. well i do not know about taking my husband to a consoler he would not go for one and if he found out that i was going to do that then i think he might say well there is the door.jus sometimes it best if i keep my mouth shut and only do what have been told.only talk when im spoken to i know i have depression but i might go to the doctors and speak to him and see were i can go and talk to some one just to get it all off my shoulders.

Dorothy - posted on 07/16/2010

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hey,
I have suffered with terrible depression since i hit puberty and i found some coping strategies that help. The thing is to think of depression as a hill you are climbing, it isn't easy and you may slip but eventually you always reach the top! the other things i have found that help are to make a list of every reason you feel depressed and beside every reason you write a reason why that is incorrect or a way to fix it. even if you have to ask others, for example If one reason ( as with me) was " I feel stupid i cant do anything right" beside it i might write " I passed high school so i cant be that dumb and i did the dishes just fine so i dont do everything wrong" this can take a long time when you are very depressed and if you are like me you probably wont believe everything you write but that is not the point,i found when i was very depressed i had the time and the more you do it the shorter you will find your list being. The one rule with that though is DO NOT LEAVE YOUR LIST INCOMPLETE! you MUST put down a solution to every depressed feeling even if it takes you 2 hours to think of it ( i have had a couple that have taken longer) or else you might find it later and see a list of reasons to be depressed. The other thing i found that helped me is taking a vitamin D suppliment. it is proven that vitamin D helps with the production of hormones that help you feel happy and i find this extremely helpful. hope this helps

Anna Lee - posted on 07/15/2010

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Hi Sarah!
I am so sorry to hear about your depression. I suffered from depression myself, when my son was born. I didn't really have anybody to support me at the time, as none of my friends knew what I was going through, because I never really spoke about it and my mother didn't want to know anything about it. I did eventually get over it and found getting out of the house helped. I advise you to get some professional help by seeing a doctor and make sure to get some help with your kids. There is nothing to ashamed of what you are going through. Depression is very common and you are not alone. Hope this helps...

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2010

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I think you need couples counceling for starters and more time to yourself. Join a local Mommy & Me group so you can socialize with other moms like yourself (and find out you all have similar issues) and your kids can get worn out playing with others their age. My Mommy & Me group has ages 0-3 year old playgroups all of the time. Its a great way to meet people and to watch your children interacting with other kids. You do need YOU time though. Have any relatives that could watch the kids for an hour or two while you go somewhere or even take a nap if you would rather? But it's important to get out and do things without the kids even if you have to MAKE yourself get out and do things. In the end, you will be glad you did.

Jane - posted on 07/15/2010

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Lots of good advice in these replies. Definitely see your doctor or even a psychiatrist in order to get on a more effective medication. Brain chemistry affects your whole well-being, and medication just helps your brain do what you need to be doing. Also keep on talking - to whoever will listen, lots of good possibilities among these responders. Do you have any church affiliation? Find a pastor you can talk to. Churches often offer child care during services and group meetings. Ask your doctor for information on how to contact a social worker or counselor. The fact that you have felt better since starting this online conversation reveals how important it is for all of us to feel understood. And the fact that you feel better when your husband is not around suggests that you have a lot of resentment -- not at all surprising given the life you have described. True, many men do not "get it" (read John Gray's Why Mars and Venus Collide for insights into differences between male and female brains and behaviors), but at some point they need to learn to understand how their wives are experiencing life --- if the relationship is going to provide mutual love and support. Your doctor might suggest someplace you could go for couples' counseling and help you work out a plan to get him there. He may need to hear from another man how to be more considerate and thoughtful -- and the benefits to him of having a happy, healthy, and appreciative wife. Lots of good resources -- many at www.smartmarriages.com. In the meanwhile avoid the downward spiral of depression - when you don't do anything because of how you feel, you feel worse about yourself, then the less you feel up to doing, and the worse you feel about yourself, etc. Set little goals for yourself, but at the same time be kind to yourself -- tell yourself to get dressed, eat breakfast, and clean up -- and then you can rest. Of course that's hard with the responsibilities you have just now, but that's why you must enlist someone to help you. Tell me where you live and I might be able to recommend a pastor, as we have church connections throughout the country. Blessings -- you deserve them!

Danielle - posted on 07/15/2010

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Hi Sarah, first of all, PLEASE go to the doctor. I know you feel like the black hole is getting deeper and deeper but if you don't go to the doctor you can't fix it. I have had post natal 3 times and pre natal once. It was that black that I thought killing the kids and myself was a great option, once. SO not true. I sought help and I am happy now. As for your husband, isn't marriage a 50/50 relationship. Just because he is working now to provide for the family doesn't mean he can tell you what house and what car, HE will buy you. Its a two way street. You need to consider all your options. You need to get yourself better and strong so you can handle the kids and deal with your husband not treating you respectfully. If need to talk to him, write it all done first if you have to. Feelings, thoughts, jobs, everything. Like a diary if you have. Then show him or read it all too him. My husband didn't realise how bad I was until the day I pulled my hair, smashed the wall and told him I was leaving.
Do you live in Brisbane? If so, I will come visit and help you if you like a friend. I have 4 kids, 1 at home now. For you and the kids, please get strong and healthy.

Deb - posted on 07/15/2010

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so sorry to hear what you are going through....even tho you have been taking some meds, it would be good to ask for a different type of antidepressant. anyone keeping 3 under 3 would feel stressed to the max! Have you tried looking for a MOPS group in your area? it is a wonderful support... usually meets ina church weekly - someone watches the kids while you have adult interaction! also, my daughter in law was able to make connections with several moms who worked out a babysitting co-op. when she needs a break (she has 2 girls 1 year apart) those friends are life savers and she does the same for them! they meet often for playdates at each others' houses too. of course, when the depression is bad (which it sounds like it is) you wouldn't feel like doing all that stuff...which is why consulting again with your dr is really important. before I retired, I was a therapist who dealt with quite a bit of depression in young moms as well as postpartum - those brain chemicals sometimes take a while to get back to regular - plus if you had 3 kids in short amount of time, I wonder if your brain chemistry ever got back to prekids?
prayers that you will feel better! blessings

Charlotte - posted on 07/15/2010

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Just been flicking through your posts and feel for you. I have suffered with depression and stress for years but I was lucky that my daughter was my saving grace. You need time out for you without the kids even if just a walk or soak in the bath. If your husband's wages are not too great then you would get help with childcare so look into trying to get the kids into nursery even if only for a day. Medication can help but can take time to get right but ultimately the meds will only help give you strength to deal with the issues and stabilise your mood. You can get the doctor to maybe refer you to a counsellor or the crisis team short term as they can come out and just chat or take you out, just talking to someone and getting things off your chest will help. Try writing things down as well helps get it from going round and round in your head then you can look at it and try to become constructive. Try to keep your chin up x

Mary - posted on 07/15/2010

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Just know you are not alone there are many moms who struggle from depression and post partum depression. I have a 4 year old and I also deal with depression on and off.
How old are you? How old is your youngest child? If the child is less than a year old it may be post partum depression. You may want to talk to your doctor/obgyn about how your feeling. Or a counselor, trusted friend or family member.
Your babies need you and your going to get through it. I have a 4 year old who has special needs (speech delay and sensory issues) and have wondered sometimes if I will ever get through this.
Again just know your not alone. Try to connect with some moms in real life or online who are going through the same thing. I'm always here to talk if you want to look me up on facebook.

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this will pass. I had depression with my 1st child as he cried constantly and I thought I was doing something wrong or that he did not like me. Aim to do one small thing everyday, something small like read a story to them or make a picture, If you manage to acheive that by the end of the day then you can go to bed on a positive note. Tell people that you don't feel like being social at the moment. Good friends will understand and won't be offended if you don't speak to them for a while, but they will still be there if you decide you need to. Try going for a short walk if the weather is nice. Fresh air will help you feel better. Do you have anyone that can take the kids for a couple of hours to give you a bit of "me" time? Maybe get your hair done or just relax in the bath. Talk to your husband / partner, they can only help if they know how you are feeling. You are not a bad mum just because you are finding things difficult. This is not an easy job. Just take things one day at a time .

Kelina - posted on 07/15/2010

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Why don't you try leaving him with the kids for an hour or two at least once a week? This will give him an opportunity to see how much you do, and ask him to help you out with things. I wouldn't be able to get by if my husband didn't do that. As it is, three days a week, he's gone before my son is up, and not home until bedtime. During the day I also have to deal with two puppies and being pregnant and exhausted. Luckily I don't have the financial issue as every penny that comes into our account goes straight through me and my husband knows not to try to buy anything unless he asks if there is money for it first or there might not be enough for groceries. I'm glad you're feeling better, Now you really need to make him understand. I would suggest going out for coffee just the two of you, and talking to him. Try not to lose your temper or make it about him, or get upset, men will ignore and run away from all of those things and stop listening. Being a stay at home dad can only begin to compare to being a stay at home mom when the kids are a little older. We begin our childs life exhausted from pregnancy, labor and delivery. They begin it tired from staying up all night while you delivered. I'm not trying to downplay what any stay at home parent goes through, it's a difficult job. However he doesn't know what it's like to do it with three kids and wake up just as tired as when you went to bed and he needs to. Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 07/15/2010

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Definitely agree with Melanie on the MOPS group- they were a great help to me and my young children. Most MOPS groups run during the school year with "registration" usually taking place in August, your kids (even the youngest) get to play with other kids and you get a break and get to spend time with other women. You are not alone- there are lots of moms who are there or have been there. Try to take things moment by moment- one breath at a time.

Melanie - posted on 07/15/2010

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Sarah, please go see a doctor soon!! I also dealt with anxiety and depression. I didn't ever want to be myself and every little thing felt like a big hill. My family pushed me to go to a doctor and I am on medication. I don't know if you are religious, but that is what truly helps me get through everyday, strength from God. You said you have no friends, your doctor may direct you to a support group. Also I would suggest finding a MOPS group in your area. Many moms go through the same thing youare and these groups are so supportive!! I will pray for you Sarah b/c you really don't want it to get worse. The worse it gets the longer it takes to come out of that dark whole. God bless you!

Sarah - posted on 07/15/2010

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well i know owe marriage is working just that we have the ups and downs sometimes. but like i said i do not think he knows what it is like to look after 3 childern. he was a stay at home dad before he start work but he only had to look after one. my job is cooking, cleaning, washing,bathing the kids. and taking them every were i go. when i had my 3rd child it felt like i was a single mum doing it all by my self because he did not help that much even when he took 2 weeks off he was out most days with his dad and i had to look after all the kids and do washing even as i was not meant to be as i just had a c section. i do love him very much its just that i do not think he understands the stress us women go throw with the kids. but since i have start this paige i have been feeling a lot better as i have been getting everything of my mind. it helps a lot to talk to people even if i do not know them.because i like what u guys say and i have put everything in to consideration.

Kelina - posted on 07/14/2010

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Sarah are there any mommy groups in your area? These are a great way to meet other moms and start a babysitting co-op. It sounds like your spouse is a bigger part of the stress fro you than your children! Have you considered marriage counselling? Sometimes when our spouses hear the same complaints over and over from us they start blocking out all of our complaints, even if they're legitimate needs. Maybe counselling would help him listen to you and reevaluate who you are and what you do becasue right now it doens't sound like he really appreciates and values what you do. It is difficult taking care of children! And just because you don't bring home a paycheck, that doesn't mean anything because if he didn't have you he'd probably have to work two other jobs to pay someone to do what you do! I think you need to take some time, whatever time you can get, even if you just leave the kids with him for an hour or two on one of his days off and take a look at your life and ask yourself what you can live with and what you can't. To me, it seems like your marriage isn't working, is that how you feel? Are the two of you willing to work on it to make it work? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself, and really honestly answer them! Don't beat around the bush with yourself. And then do what it takes to make good with those answers. Good luck Sarah

Sarah - posted on 07/14/2010

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well i do not have anyone around me anymore i used to have a really good friend but she has got a boyfriend and now she hardly sees me and she is pushing more n more away. well with parents what can i say i do not speak to my mum n dad and my husbands parents well we have to get on my hands n knees to ask them to look after them my mothering law used to look after the 2 kids when i used to go to work as my husband worked late nights to but she told me that once the 3rd one come she will not be able to do it any more. no i do not have anyone around to help me out.well its the same as when my husband goes away for a holiday for a weekend it great because I'm stress free and it feels great but when he gets home my stress levels build up again. about the mothering law thing it was the same as when i was due with my 3rd we asked here if she could look after the kids that night and she turned around and said no because im working and i have to go to bingo got to love that. as i had to go in for a c section.

Kristina - posted on 07/14/2010

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Sarah, how long have you been this way? have you called your doctor again? do you have any family close to you that might take your children for awhile? raising children is very hard to do by yourself, you must sit your spouse down and talk to him about this or have him go with you to the doctors. you need some help till you get this under control. if you do not have family close check your neighborhood and see if there are any families close to you with kids that are small like yours. be sure to check them out good though. don't let this get you down more than you already are. keep your chin up and it will all work out. I will be praying for you.

Katherine - posted on 07/14/2010

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WHAT A JERK. UGH, tell him how bad it is!!!! You have to tell him or he is going to make it worse not knowing. Do you have family around? Can you go to your parents for a bit? Maybe that would help with the kids at least.
Is there really NOWHERE for you?

Ashley - posted on 07/14/2010

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Could it be postpartum depression? If you think it may be, I suggest you seek medical help asap. 3 kids under 3, wow. Kudos, I have 2 girls, ages 1 and 2 lol. They can be a handful, especially since both are spoiled beyond belief. I understand depression, I have been struggling with depression myself for the past... all my life. I had postpartum depression with my second. I still feel guilty for it now. Everything is ok now. Just know that whatever today brings your way, there is always a new day... a fresh start tomorrow. I never go anywhere either, and I also don't have any friends. I have a laptop that I only use to put poems and stuff on, I also use it for a diary. I type down anything and everything I want to put in it. Not like a "Dear Diary, today I met this cute boy"kind of thing. But about how I feel and what I want in life. It helps, more than you think. I have been on so many diff meds for depression and they never work. This does. Getting everything out and reading over it once, only once though. I'm not exactly a happy type of person and I still don;t go anywhere, but that is more anxiety than it is anything else. Just know that you are not alone. Add me if you feel like you need someone to talk to about anything. I love talking to people and giving advise, I also like asking strangers for advise because they usually don't judge you and when they do it don't matter anyway.

Lorri - posted on 07/14/2010

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well i feel sorry for you your husband might work a lot but that is know reason he cant do his other job and that is to help out with his kids to he get the baby at night when he wakes up their is know reason why he couldnt if he has time to play cards he has time to take care of the kids to you need to put your foot down about this no med are going to help you with the kids and their is help out their for day care maybe you should go back to work just to get out of the house

Lorri - posted on 07/14/2010

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i just read your other comment there is a dad and he sounds like a real ass hole if you dont mind me saying and has he ever hit you there is help out there for you dose your husband know how upset you are or is he the kind of guy that dont care about you just him self let me know how things work out

Lorri - posted on 07/14/2010

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i will try to help i know how hard it is to rais kids that are really close in age if you dont mind me asking is the dad in your life if he is let him take the kids and you go out for the day you need a break to you have a job to and it is to take care of those kids but you cant do that your self you need some you time and if you have family that lives close by let them take the kids for the day or if you can aford a baby sitter get one but you really a day to your self and i would really much like talking to you agin my name is lorri allshouse im on face book to serch me and keep me posted you sound like you could you a friend to talk to and i will talk to you

Sarah - posted on 07/14/2010

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well i still have not been to the doctors yet but i will hope to go tomorrow. well my husband took the day off to day because he was sick but we went and did some food shoppingwhich was good but on the way to the shops we were talking about buying a house and he said i know u would like to have a dream home and this n that but he said that is not going to happen. im going to buy what i want and that is that and if u do not like it.u can go well that is what to felt like he was going to say the same as he wants to get me car but not what i want because he is buying it he said im not going to spend that kind of money i so felt like getting out of the car and walking home the same as he start to yell at me when we were shoping he said how much meat do we have and i told him and he said is that all that is left u could not have gone throw that much all ready i turned around and said fine i will stop cooking then.he did not answer to that. but when he starts that kind of thing i switch off. well with all the other post with people saying i need time to my self and friends to talk to well i realy do not have any close friends n if i do they know my husband to so that makes it hard.so i think i need to go to the docs and see a social worker or something because that is the only way i think i going to get what is on my mind. i think its a mixer off depression n anxiety im just getting sick of it all.it just putting more n more in a big black hole.

Kourtnie - posted on 07/13/2010

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I feel like that often! Its just a stage, atleast that what i keep telling myself. Try to stay positive, and hang in there for your kids, if not for yourself, they need you and love you.

I have had to remind myself, that my life is now no longer my, but hers! Its a very hard transition!

Stay strong and PRAY, thats what I am pretty sure has been helping me out.

Katherine - posted on 07/13/2010

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Same here, Sarah. (meds for anxiety)

It sounds like you need something more than ever. I had PPD with both of my daughters and it's nothing to mess with. Of course your partner has to help too. Maybe if he knew just how bad it was he would help more...

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