Desperate!

RAM - posted on 12/06/2014 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I truly need some advice. Someone please help.

My daughter is 1 years old and won't sleep through the night at all. She has a bad schedule and I've tried to change it but she is so stubborn. This is her current sleeping schedule:
12pm wake up
2pm nap until 5pm
10pm nap until 12am
5am sleep until 12pm

How can I change this? Yesterday I didn't let her sleep at all past 12pm until 9pm so I figured maybe she will sleep but she woke up at 10:30 and stayed up until 5 again!!

I've tried waking her up at 7am and putting her on a schedule but it won't matter, we are always awake from 1 until 5am.

Today I woke her up at 10am then put her to sleep from 1-2pm and again from 5-6pm and I want to put her to sleep at 10pm. I've tried this before and it didn't work.

She eats well all day, she plays and has activities. She isn't hungry, nothing is wrong. Why won't she sleep???

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Michelle - posted on 12/08/2014

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Everyone has given some really great tips there. I will add that for the nighttime waking, leave the lights as dim as possible (off is better if you can handle it). Is she up for a bottle or just to play? Minimize interaction and conversation at that time. Give her the bottle, put her back down, go back to sleep.

Whatever you do, be consistent. The more you waver, the longer it will take to re-train her.

Maybe start an evening routine to signal to her that it will bedtime soon: play, bath, read, sing with lights dimmed...nighty night. =) (or something that works for you)

FYI, just because she wakes up doesn't mean you need to go in to pick her up right away. She will learn to fall back asleep on her own...

Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 12/06/2014

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I would slowly start by transitioning her schedule to make her system adjust. Some of the night time waking is just not getting her up.....letting her know that it is night time and we are all in bed. Allow her sometime for her system to adjust to the new schedule but keep the schedule VERY consistent. If she plays during nap time don't allow her to sleep after nap time is done. While it is sleep time she is in her bed. Your body kind of has a natural clock......so it you sleep or eat at the same time every day you body starts to get tired and hungry at those times. At first it will take a while to get her system adjusted. It is much like a person that has jet lag.

Sarah - posted on 12/06/2014

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Here is the schedule I use with my kids and my daycare kids.......
up between 7 am to 8 am
Nap at 9:30 am to 10:30 am
Nap at 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm
Bed at 8/8:30 pm sleep through night.

Around 15 months to 18 months I take out the morning nap.

Jodi - posted on 12/06/2014

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I think you need to be more persistent in waking her in the morning, then not allowing her to sleep again until 2. At the moment, she is using the 5am to 12 noon as her night time/main sleep time. You need to switch it around so that she isn't sleeping so much in the daytime. It isn't just the waking up you have to change - it is the entire schedule. But you may have to do it gradually. Start by moving everything back by an hour for a few days, then move it another hour, and so on. Until you have a schedule that looks more like:
7am wake up
11am nap until 2pm
7pm nap until 9pm
12 midnight sleep until 7am

Or something along those lines. You are going to have to be REALLY consistent. This isn't about your child being stubborn, this is about you having allowed her to develop these habits and it is really hard to break habits once they have developed. It will take some time and a lot of patience.

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RAM - posted on 12/09/2014

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Sarah, it world be a great idea to let her sleep in my bed. My son slept in my bed until he was three and he's fine now. He's five now and always gets a full 12 hours and even naps whenever he has off from school!

But my daughter refuses to sleep in my bed. She would rather play with us and try to wake us up but won't actually sleep. She only sleeps in the stroller and then we move her to her bed. She wakes up a few times a night because she wants to go back to the stroller.

RAM - posted on 12/08/2014

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Hi ladies, thank you all for your advice. So I started this on Saturday and the schedule worked well. This was the schedule I used:
10am wake up
1-2pm nap
5-6pm nap
10pm bedtime

She woke up three times but she just wanted to be hugged and she fell right back sleep.

Then last night we did the same schedule and it worked all day but then she woke up at 10:30pm and cried until 1:30 then woke up again at 2:40 and cried until 4:15.

So we usually put her in the stroller and rock her to sleep. If I put her in her bed she will not sleep at all.
I have tried and she literally cried all night without sleeping. I tried keeping up the schedule today but she has a 102 fever so I'm trying to let her rest but not sleep all day. Hopefully tonight will be a bit better, I gave her meds for her fever so maybe it will help her sleep too.

Wanda, thank you for that. I am trying to enjoy this because I'll be honest, she's actually really funny in middle of the night. She looks at me and goes "HI!" But it's not easy to enjoy it when you are lacking sleep haha.

Wanda - posted on 12/08/2014

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That all sounds familiar! And 14 yrs later I still have a child who loves to stay up! Lol.
I remember like it was yesterday...I could not get her to sleep anything normal! After about 1.5 yrs she started to settle into a half normal routine.
Don't get too discouraged..it's only two yrs of ur life. Trust me u will miss those yrs later..as tough as it sounds now..
The one thing that use to help a little was entertaining her all day and making bedtime hours extremely boring with no play and lights dim, with quite music..

Sarah - posted on 12/08/2014

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All excellent advice! I do want to reinforce that it may take awhile, if you shift her too dramatically it is going to very tricky. Move her by 1/2 to 1 hour at a time. All the other points of keeping the room dark and quiet, not talking or starting any playtime, and using her bed for sleeping only will help her overall. Good Luck!

Michelle - posted on 12/07/2014

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The other ladies have said everything. All I will add is you need to stick to it and not give up when it becomes too hard. Yes you could have changed it as a baby without the CIO method but it was easier not to and now you need to stick to it.

RAM - posted on 12/06/2014

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I am trying. Thank you so much for your support and advice ladies. I will let you know how it's going on a few days!

Jodi - posted on 12/06/2014

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I agree with Sarah, it needs to be a slow transition, and it will take some time. It's not a matter of just changing over immediately because it's not going to work. As I said, alter her schedule by about an hour each day (or even half hour if that will work better). It is going to take a LOT of persistence and organisation on your part, but it will be worth it in the long term.

RAM - posted on 12/06/2014

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Thank you Jodi, I actually tried that but she still woke up for those hours at night. She has been this way since she was born and I tried not to allow it I just didn't know how to change it without using the crying it out method.

It's like she has her days and nights mixed up. Does that make sense?

RAM - posted on 12/06/2014

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That's a really great schedule and it works so week with the mommy & me classes I take her to but how do I get her to sleep through the night? Because I've tried using a similar schedule and put her to sleep at 8 but she was up by 10 refreshed and ready to play. How do I make her sleep instead of nap?

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