Desperate and alone after partner left me after 24 years

Gill - posted on 10/26/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My partner has just told me he doesn't want to be with me after 24 years together. He hasn't given me a proper reason just says he doesn't feel the same any more and when I try to delve deeper he simply says he doesn't know how he really feels or why. He is still living here but is moving in with his mother in 8 days after the first anniversary of his fathers death. We have 2 sons aged 24 and 21 who live at home. I thought he might have concerns for his mother but he tells me she is doing fine on her own. He also said his mother wont want to know me and our boys once he has moved back with her. This has come like a bolt out of the blue to me as we were talking of getting married 3 months ago. I have said we don't need to get married if that's scaring him but he said its not that. My doctor has given me valium short term to take the edge off but it isn't helping me at all. I am suffering panic attacks and my heart is racing constantly, I am not eating and feel sick all the time. I don't have many friends, at least not close friends. My partner was my best mate. We were both each others first love and I really thought we were soul mates. This is the worst part as I don't have a friend to turn to as it would normally have been him. I have done the begging and the shouting and now I am just numb. I have decided to try to be as nice as possible so we can at least speak when he moves on but it is so so hard. My boys don't like the way he is treating me and they are now starting to call him and telling me to just get rid and move on. I know they care about me but it isn't as easy as that. He has been my partner and best friend for as long as I can remember and I am not functioning properly and definitely not coping at all. I am in tears permanently and shaking and short of breath. I guess I am just looking to talk to someone who has been through the same thing and can advise what I can do to help myself and cope a little better. Thank you for listening to me

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