Desperate for 2 year-old discipline help!

Abbey - posted on 09/13/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Ok, I've heard of terrible twos and can definitely feel it coming on strong...(we're still a couple weeks away from two), however I am running out of ideas to punish her for doing things I ask her not to repeatedly. I've tried the time-outs, I've tried yelling, I've tried putting her in bed, I've tried taking away certain toys/turning off her favorite TV show...I'm exhausted and all she does is laugh. NOTHING WORKS. HELP!!!

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Doris - posted on 09/13/2009

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I work with two year olds, well I used to until I got put on bedrest, but take away her favorite toys, make sure shes watching you and you get down and explain why you are doing it, then do what supernanny does, send them to their rooms or invent a naughty corner somewhere. Sometimes they get uncontrollable for no reason, but as soon as they figure out that mommy and daddy are serious, they stop. It is called stubborness, eventually they will end it. Hope it all works out. (PS stop yelling..she thinks you will give up, so if you stop and just ignore but yet discipline, she will start realizing)

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Vidya - posted on 06/03/2013

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Hi,

My kid is 2 and a half.He is naughty but thats not my concern......He shows the worst behaviour possible when it is lunch or dinner time.he just hates to eat..the moment he sees his plate of food he starts screaming,howling throwing tantrums...........I have tried every possible thing to give him something that he likes with his food but that intrest is just for a day or two.Now i m feeling frustrated and guilty .Please help............

Rosana - posted on 09/13/2009

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My doctor suggested something instead of spanking. Hold the child's hands, to not let them continue the bad behavior. They get frustrated and start to understand that this happens, when they are doing something bad. I do not like physical punishment, and I realize that sometimes it is more fun to misbehave than listen. This has been working for me, especially now that he is trying to find out how far he can go. I never spanked my 11 year old, and not going to with my 2.5 year old. Good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2009

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I have a willful one too. Whatever you do be consistent. We use a variety of things with our 2 nearly 3 year old. Mostly isolation and time out. We make him explain to us why he was in time out when he comes out and what he should have done. He laughed at us at first as well but not so much anymore. I think the key is to go through with it laughing or not. They stop laughing if they are made to stay there long enough and consistently. Mine is allowed to come out when he is complying.. ie siting on the bed and ready to appologize and explain why he is there. It is tough with willful kids but keep it up and things will eventually change and get easier. It has taken a year for us and he still has his moments. The good news is if you are constant things will pass since it in a phase. When she gets a good since of who she is and what you expect things WILL get better.

Abbey - posted on 09/13/2009

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Yeah the pick your battles thing is super helpful. I mean she isn't a misbehavin' little brat. She's a really good kid, but when she does do something it's usually something that will hurt her or has potential to...so that is why I'm desperate here. Thanks a lot!

[deleted account]

I hate to say it but I got the idea from Supernanny to put a naughty chair in the corner of my daughter's room, only place we have room for it in a small place. When she has to go into time out she goes into the naughty chair and if she moves from it she gets placed right back into it. It took me a little over an hour and a half the first time for her to understand that is what the chair was for. Everytime we use it though it takes her a while to get the idea that is what it is for as it's a new concept. Before we use to put her in her room and close the door for time outs but she usually screamed her head off until she got out then she was right back to doing what she did wrong. So far the naughty chair works and if it's a really dangrous thing she's doing, like kicking the dog, then we give her a light smack on the behind before putting her in the naughty chair but it has to warrant the label of "dangerous" for her to get that.

Stevie - posted on 09/13/2009

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lol my son is 10 months old lol and he did that too now he doesn laugh or look at me he just does it stay consistent how long are you leaving her in time out the rule of thumb for time out is a min per age since she is 2 she needs to be in time out for 2 min and time out does not start until she is done throwing her fit make the time out spot in the same place away from toys distractions or other ppl such as siblings and when the time out is over go over to her and get on her level and explan to her why she was in time out and ask her for a sorry i love you hug and kiss or however you want to end the session um i dont know much about what to do with toys but i can say taken them away can help only if you tell her why you took them away and so on but always always stay consistant no matter how long it takes if you stop she will learn thats how long it takes until mommy gives in its hard to do cuz it can take forever for them to understand you will not give up good luck hon

Danae - posted on 09/13/2009

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Just make sure you mean what you say.

Always follow through, and don't wait for the 2nd or 3rd time you ask.

They will figure out how far they can push you before you react and will push that far or farther every time. So if its always after the 3rd time you ask that they get in trouble, they will push for the 3rd or 4th time every time. Give them an inch and they will try to take a mile.

Above all be consistent.

Hayden - posted on 09/13/2009

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O it gets worse. It gets better during two n then when they are almost three it's like u are back where you started. I have to put my almost three year old in the corner and then keep a nice calm voice n talk to him..

Julie - posted on 09/13/2009

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We tried time outs, tapping her bottom (not hard but just to get her attention), and just telling her "No, bad, don't do [fill in the blank], it's not nice" She seems to thrive off of this stuff and laughs as well. However, I found when we tell her "no" and she does it again we ignore her (assuming it's not a dangerous situation) she tends to stop a little and move on. You just have to find the weakness. Good luck!

Shelly - posted on 09/13/2009

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I've been down this road twice! =) This is a tough age. It kinda depends on what you're punishing her for. First (as I'm sure you've heard) pick your battles. You can't punish her for every little thing. Redirection is usually MUCH better (in terms of effectiveness) that an actual punishment at this age. If she's playing in your purse, pick her up and say something to the effect of "that's mommy's and you didn't have permission to play with it. Here, these are your blocks - why don't you build mommy a castle?". The other thing that has made a big difference (for us) is to compliment her when she's doing what she IS supposed to be doing. If she always seems to 'be in trouble' or 'getting fussed at' she will become numb to it and just not care. I hope this helps at least a little... =) Good Luck!

User - posted on 09/13/2009

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she is at the age where she is gaining her independence. realizing that she has some power to do and not to do things. try letting her make choices on issues that are not important to excerise her "power and independence", this will be an avenue for her to vent this new found self awareness. then explain to her that there are times when she has to do what she is told. when you begin to exercise her choices you can turn what you want her to do/not do by saying things like "now i need to you do this for me... do you think you can do it? let me see ... how long can you do it? vs saying "don't do XXXX" You know when Adam and Eve were in the garden and told not to eat of the tree of life... it peaked a greater desire to do it... it's just human nature.

[deleted account]

My daughter is 4 now, but I understand where you are coming from. When she hit 2 she would try to be bad. When she would act up I put her in the chair and told her that she hurt my feelings by whatever it was that she did, so now I was going to have to hurt hers and put her in time out. I told her she had to sit there until she said what she needed to tell me. She sat there for about 5 minutes mad and crying a little, and then told me she was sorry. After she said she was sorry I would appoligize to her that I had to put her time out. And then discussed with her why she was in time out and if she did something wrong again that is where she would go. It worked for me, but not every child is a like. I wish you the best of luck!

[deleted account]

I agree with Kate...I also started the time-out routine with my son fairly soon after he was a year and a half. He is now 4 and it still works...you just have to stick to one mode of discipline. Kids are smart, and if your daughter notices that you keep on switching tactics when she doesn't make them work...she will continue to disobey you. For my son, I would give him 2 warnings before time-out, if he continued with the behavior, he would sit on the first step of our stairs (1 minute for each age year). After his time was up, I would ask him why he was on the 'naughty step', he would give me hug, apologize and I would say 'I love you'. Again, he's now 4, and all I do now is count 1, 2, naughty step...and there he goes. It's really really really tough at the beginning to be consistent...but believe me, stick to your guns and it will work. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 09/13/2009

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Its going to be hard but you have to be patient with them throughout punishment. My year and a half old daughter is the same way, mind you shes smiles and giggles all the time anyway and its hard not to giggle back but you have to remain stern with them and let them know what they are doing is unacceptable. I use the corner. I make them stand there until 1 they stop screaming or realize they did something bad and thats why theyre in timeout.. Once they stop screaming and stop trying to come out of the corner I sit on the floor and have them turn around. Thats one big key i never knew worked so well. You hvae to get on their level so their more comfortable with talking. I explain to them why they were in the corner and then i ask them if they understand. If they say no, Sometimes I have to rephrase what they did a few times so they do understand but it does work. It took about a month of doing this solidly at least once a day, this is why i say patience, but it does work.

Nikii - posted on 09/13/2009

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I had similar problems with my daughter and I found that going down to her level and asking her with a calm voice to do something and then ignoring her when she started throwing tantrums and screaming at me. Then calmly going over to her again and in a calm voice at eye level asking her again but this time saying if she doesn't do what you have asked then there will be a consequence and that this is her warning.This took a little while for her to realise that she wasn't going to get me all wound up that she started to do what I asked after that we started to make it fun. I now have a one year old and have adopted the same principle to him and I have found that I get more out of him. I hope this helps.

Danielle - posted on 09/13/2009

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You have to fine want works for your child. Like for instance: my daughter did not like being alone or sitting in the time out chair. When I would let her know if she did not stop doing something then I would tell her that she had to sit in ger elmo chair. She began to not like her elmo chair but it worked to get her to not do something. So you know what your child likes and dislikes better than anyone. Use that to get you child to listen. Good luck

Kate - posted on 09/13/2009

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my two yr old is nearly 3 now but the naughty corner works with him hes not really been that naughty tho cos weve used the naughty corner from the age of jus over one jus keep doin it and in the end she will listen we did the same with my daughter and shes 4 now hope this helps we watch supernanny and copy the steps that she does

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