Desperate for advice with my 8 year old daughter at bedtime!!!

Stephanie - posted on 01/10/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 8 year old girl is an angel by day and a nightmare at bedtime! I don't understand why she behaves the way she is! We will read together, kiss and cuddle then it's bedtime, sometimes I will hear the excuse she is feeling poorly when clearly there is nothing wrong with her, and that is before she goes to bed, other times she calls me after she has been put to bed and I'm downstairs with the excuse she cannot sleep!
A tantrum will often be the outcome because she asks for cuddles or to come into my bed and I Won't give in to her, so she screams and crys and bangs things!
I've tried being calm, I've been angry and shouted, I've taken things off her and grounded her, I'm at the end of my tether and I need help!!!! please!!!


Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2014




Do you think it would help to have a visual checklist? Once it's marked off, you're done.

Way to stick to your guns. It's hard, I know. Though it feels horrible, what has worked for us is being a wall. I let my daughter know I mean business. We have bedtime routine and cuddle time. However, I do not have conversations during cuddle time. She is reminded it is bedtime and we can talk in the morning. Every attempt is stopped with the reminder that it is bedtime. I tell her I love her when I tuck her in and I go downstairs. If I hear from her again, she gets a "Good night, we're done talking, it's bedtime". I do not engage in any more. Be firm and consistent. (sounds like you are) Stay calm and do not react to her attempts for attention. (as much as possible) If you have to escourt her back to bed, no conversations, no eye contact, and as calmly as possible. Eventually, she'll get the message.
Best of luck and know you are not alone.


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Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2014




I've tried a reward chart and also tried the whole Jo Frost thing. I find that the more I ignore her and stay calm and continuously tell her it's bedtime, she gets herself so worked up and very upset and makes things worse!

I've recently moved home with my parents as I'm in university full time and need the support, my mum feels I'm too harsh at times and has been helping to calm her down, when she gets so worked up my mum goes up and sits with her, distracting her from what the problem might be and changing the subject, she then talks to her and tells her this behaviour is not acceptable, she;s then calm and goes to sleep but my mum could be up there for half hour or more!!

She's a different child at night!!

Jodi - posted on 01/10/2014




Let her know that if this behaviour continues, you will set her bedtime earlier....and earlier....and earlier. Reward good bedtime behaviour with a later night on a non school night (a Friday night movie or something).

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