Desperate please help!!!!

Sarah - posted on 09/01/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




Hi this is the first time I have ever heard of this site. I looked up work from home and this is what came up. I took it as a sign. There are several reasons. So this is my story. I just left an abusive relationship mostly emotional and verbal but a few times physical. We have a son that just turned 3 in July I moved out of state. He does not know yet but once he finds out he is going to file for divorce and custody. He always said if he ever won the lottery he would pay me to take him and just disappear. I told him he didn't have to pay me anything. If he didn't want to be with me we could go to court file for divorce and he could sign over his rights and I wouldn't go after him for support. Reason being is because although he is only 3 our son is very aggressive and already picking up his abusive ways, physically and verbally. He does not listen to me, any kind of punishment I give him does not phase him. Then after I punish him he comes up to me and swings screaming and yelling. He listened to my husband because he was afraid of him but I will never grab my son by his throat and slam him on the bed or couch, scream in his face then smack him across his face and then tell him to shut the f*** up when he starts to cry. Is it just me or is that abuse? Anyway, because then if I opened my mouth and said anything or tried to comfort my son then it was my turn. But if my son did something wrong to me he would laugh. So that would just encourage him to do it more.
So anyway when I had him I had complications, but also because my husband didn't feel like sitting in the hospital made me leave after a day and a half with a c-section. Then I also had two more surgeries in the three months to follow which were out patient but he waited in the car and because the recovery from the second one took longer than an hour I got punished for that one. I was yelled at the whole way home and then pushed to the floor as soon as I walked through the door when we got home. I'm sorry I am rambling there is so much more but you get the idea. He told me if I ever left he would find me and kill me. Which is why he doesn't know where I am. But I have no way of proving anything because he knows better than to threaten me by text or by phone. He will never leave a mark on my son or I which is why he mainly sticks to the verbal and mental. I dont know what to do I have established residency by opening a bank account and making a doctors appointment for my son and I for the end of September.
There is more part of my dilemma is that because of him I have lost my job, my car, my house, and I lost custody of my other two children. I have no money (especially not for a lawyer) but because of losing my house and car my credit score has been destroyed. So I am basically starting from scratch with what little possessions of ours I was able to escape with.
Now I have one thing in my favor as far as not being able to prove any abuse, after we lost our house we moved in with his father. Well his brother lives there and he is a drug addict and every police officer and judge in a 50+ mile radius knows him oh too well so it won't be hard proving this because he if files for custody it will be in that judicial system. Although once it starts in that system it stays in that system. So I am wondering should I tell him if he threatens me he is going to take me to court for custody what my plan is so he knows he will lose and not bother? Or should I let him and just let him lose because I dont know if he will lose all together, and my ultimate goal is to not take him for support because I want him to never have anything to do with him ever again. My son is barely 3 and he has already rubbed off too much on him. I can't even imagine what kind of person he would grow up to be with him as an influence and like I said he always put me down to my face so I already know what slanderous lies he will say about me once he gets older. I don't care what he says to me and about me but I care about what he does to my son and I'm sorry but bashing his mother any chance he gets can mess a child up. My mother never said one bad thing about my father EVER. I grew up and learned what kind of POS he was and because of that I have nothing but respect for her because after I found out what kind of person he was I asked what all he did to her and why she left him and she told me. Then confronted my dad about it and he admitted it and more she didn't even tell me all of it even when I asked. She is the most wonderful woman in the world and I only wish I could be half the woman she is. I am staying with her now and she does not have much money to help me, which is why I need a job quick and a stay at home job would be the best. Not one making phone calls because my son will not allow that (he doesn't leave me alone when I am on the phone). I have Internet access a tablet and an iPhone no printer I will take minimum wage as long as it is not limited to 8 hrs a day I do not take hand outs and have no problem working for my money. I don't have a car or baby sitter or the money to get either and my mother can not handle my son until I can break him of his ways (which could take a while). Please any and ALL help and advice and support. legal advice non monetary support is what I meant and non legal advice of course. Thank you very much.

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