Desperately Needing Some Advice...

Debbie - posted on 02/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Six months after our 5th child was born, my husband decided that he no longer wanted to be a father or a husband and he walked away...completely. It was important to my ex that I didn't work outside of the home, so I had quit my job and was a stay-home mom once we had children. When he left me with 5 young children, I started doing some babysitting out of my home. Unfortunately because of a dishonest deal my ex made with my divorce attorney, the kids and I lost our home to foreclosure this past December and we have been homeless ever since. With losing our home, I also lost all of my income since I do not have anywhere to babysit any longer. Besides being out of the workplace for 23 years, I only had a high school diploma so I went back to school last year. I cannot get into a place because I don't have money for first and last plus monthly rent. I have been taking care of my children completely on my own since my ex husband has nothing to do with his children, and I don't have any family to help me out. I am so tired both emotionally and physically. I have heard that when one door closes, another one opens, but I am finding out that they all seem to be bolted shut! Would anyone know of anyone willing to hire a hardworking, dedicated woman to telecommute in order to earn a good salary to take care of her children???? Sure could use some advice or encouragement because I am feeling very hopeless. Thank you!


Cecilia - posted on 02/20/2013




First I will tell you I was there. Not exactly but really close. I was left homeless with 3 children and no family. I stayed in a homeless shelter not sure what to do. How do i get a job without anyone to watch my kids? How do i get a place without a job.. It all seems homeless doesn't it?

So you know you're not looking in the right places for the doors. There's tons of them in the community. Go to catholic charities. There is one in pretty much every town. Tell them where you are at right now and ask them where they can help. Even if they don't do a specific service they can tell you who does. One example would be a service that could pay your first and last months rent. Maybe they can also find a work place that will allow you to take their children with them. Some places will do free baby sitting. Please start searching the community, they are your way out.

My largest issue was my own pride. I had a very hard time showing up to welfare and such to ask for help. God knows at that point i needed it. My therapist told me my own pride was my worst enemy. She was my life line then... So yea go find yourself a therapist too. You need to work on you and fix some of the now broken pieces in you that you've swallowed down to get through this.

I do know that feeling of almost being at the "i give up" stage. Guess what, you havn't given up yet. you're so much tougher than you thought before he left. Keep your head up hon. It will be okay. You will come out of this better than you think right now.


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Kristi - posted on 02/21/2013





I am so sorry for your tragic situation. But I have to say, your bravery, determination and strength just amazes me! 5 kids! I don't think I could handle that with a good husband and the proverbial, white picket fence. I am completely serious. I know you feel anything but those things right now. However, I can tell you that your children see that and much, much more in you. Life might suck right now but your children know deep into their souls that you will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be there for them. You're showing them that no matter what, you stick together, you keep trying, you don't give up. I know this is a truly shitty way to learn coping and problem solving skills but once the 6 of you make it through this, and you will make it, your kids will be so well equipped to navigate through their individual lives. IMO, You are doing an incredible job.

As Cecilia said, don't be afraid to ask for government assistance. Screw judgemental a-holes who know nothing of your situation. The system was designed and meant to help people in your situation. There are so many more programs and options available to help you get back on your feet than there used to be. You should be able to get aid for housing, food, utilities through DHHS. They usually have job training opportunities, as well. The Salvation Army is another good resource for help, if you have one of those in your area. I can't tell by your post for sure if you're still in school but there is a great deal of financial aid out there if you know where to look. If school is still an avenue you are going down/want to go down, talk to the financial aid officer at the school for help. You may have to fill out a crap load of forms but what's a little writer's cramp? ; ) OH! One other benefit of applying for government assistance...they automatically go after dear-ol-dad for child support. No attorney's fees required!

If all of the doors seem closed, check the windows! Prayers for many blessings to come for you and your children.

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