destructive child

Chelsea - posted on 01/04/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




i watch my nephew during the day and he is very destructive. he tears up books, breaks toys, like to pull the sheets off of my sons bed, and he plays really rough. he is an only child. i dont know how to tell my sister that her son is very destructive. ive tried putting them up on the top shelf of the dresser, but the minute i turn my back, he climbs up on the dresser and takes them down. My son is 2 and so is my nephew, so they both play with the same things, and yet when i discipline him it doesnt compute. i ask him if he is suppose to do what he did and he always says "yeah".im at a loss for what to do. ive tried separating them and giving him toys he cant destroy, and he wont play with them. he will just find something else to get into. i put him in his bed and he jumps so hard, im afraid he gonna break the bed. HELP!!!!!


Ariana - posted on 01/04/2013




I would continue trying to give him things he can't break. Have you tried giving him a time-out? By two he should be able to have a short timeout (only 1 or 2 minutes, 1 minute for every year is how most people do it but I'd only do 1 minute with a 2 year old personally). That way he sees if he destroys something he gets taken away.

Could you also put them in a bin in a different room before he comes to your house instead of someplace he can reach?

Also how long have you been watching him? Because some two year olds are more destructive than others and he may just need to be taken away from doing it and not allowed to play with things if he's breaking them over and over before he gets it.

I also wouldn't ask him if he was supposed to do that, just tell him very clearly, we don't tear books, we don't break toys etc.

If you talk to the mom maybe you could ask her to bring some of his toys/books over? You could have it so if he breaks a toy that's your childs he has to give up one of his toys until the next day. He might not be old enough for this to work, if he's over 2 1/2 he'd probably be able to understand but if he's a just two year old he might not get the connection.

You might also try praising him for being so gentle, or what a gentle kid he is with things when he is playing nicely. At first you might have to tell him that almost as soon as he's playing with something, like he picks something up for a couple seconds nicely and you go wow you are so gentle with these toys today! Or w/e.

Are there any high energy toys or 'destructive' toys he can play with also? Like could you give him blocks that he can smash down, or a tool kit he can bang with. Something where if you see him acting rough you can go oh no we don't play rough with these toys, they break easy, we can play rough with THIS toy over here that is hard to break (or supposed to break). Same with if he's playing rough, you could get one of those big bears or penguin things that are meant for rolling around with, so don't play rough with people, you can 'wrestle' the giant bear though, go get him! That type of thing, so he can be 'aggressive' in an acceptable way.

I would try some of these things before you talk to the mom. Even if you did say something to her there isn't anything she can do while she's out. Two year olds need things to happen immediately, there isn't anything she could do to stop him from acting like this while he's with you. Hope some of what I said is helpful!

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