destuctive behavior

Dawn - posted on 11/08/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello mommies, I'm at my witts end here. My children are destructive, steal my stuff and destroy it. My one son talks back and has such an attitude at only 7 yrs old. This I far beyond your normal 7yr old behavior. They refuse to listen when it docile them so it's useless. He just yells back and says no, you are going to your room. I physically have to pick him up and carry him to his room. His younger sister who is almost four is picking up his behavior and she is acting exactly the same even now. I have done everything to try and combat this behavior and nothing is working. I am minutes from a nervous breakdown and I'm tired of yelling at them. I give up. If anyone has any advice on how they dealt with this in their families please help.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/08/2015

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Well, it sounds as if you're not remaining consistent enough...which is why your kids are winning.

By all means, cancel Christmas! Make them donate any gifts they would have gotten to a local women's or transitional center where they will be appreciated. And then, stop giving in to them! Its normal...you get tired of fighting them and think "this ONCE, I will give in"...and once becomes twice, and three times, and then the kids are using you as a doormat...even your 4 year old.

When you stop giving in, entirely, and keep in that mindset, your kids will come around. No, it's not going to be an INSTANT result...it could take months at this point, before you feel like you're making any progress.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/08/2015

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Sounds like some more consistent discipline is needed. You say you've "tried everything"...but for how long? You can't just stop using a method after 2 or 3 tries because it "isn't working"...that is part of the problem.

Be consistent in your parenting. Bust 'em EVERY TIME they are acting out, use consistent consequences, and MAKE THEM STICK, and eventually, your kids will get the picture...even though you let them be little dictators at first. THEY are not the parents, here, and YOU need to get back in control.

Yelling doesn't work. Consistency does.

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Ev - posted on 11/08/2015

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Shawnn is right in this. You need to set up the rules and consequences, explain them to the kids and then keep on doing what you set out to do. It takes time to get kids to act the way you want them too. No one or two times of a consequence is going to work. You have to do it a lot. You should also make the consequences fit the thing that they are not doing the way they should be. I would stop the yelling at them and picking up little bodies and removing them to their rooms or time out spots. You will eventually hurt yourself in said process and do not need that. Also if you do not get it under control now, when they are teens and too big to pick up and carry to their rooms, you are going to have far worse problems to deal with. Your son could grow to be taller and weigh more than you and you do not want to have to deal with him being able to use his height and weight as an advantage on you. I have a son who is 6 feet 3 inches and I started training him from the get go. He has a sis I started to train up from the beginning.

Dawn - posted on 11/08/2015

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This has been going on for a while, we try a method for months and get no change at all. It just gets worse. We have taken toys away an kept them away we have taken functions like parties away. We are on the verge of canceling christmas in this house this year that's how bad it is getting.

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