Developmental stages, my son may be behind. Can anyone help with my concerns?

Karmi - posted on 05/10/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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So I took my son to the doctor today for an unrelated reason to this topic. But a couple of times his doctor has talked about his speech not being up to the standard developmental stage. So she is having Heartland AEA evaluate him coming soon. I'm just really confused and worried because it could be autism or just a developmental problem. Has anyone had to go through this or have any suggesstions? I'm so concerned, I'm a single mom and don't know how to get through this by myself. I would love my son regardless, but autism? It just scared me that my son won't live the life I've always dreamed of him to live. Am I too worried?

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Rebecca - posted on 05/10/2010

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Ok so take a breath my love and look at your son.
Now take another breath and listen. Every child learns at a different pace. First children learn slower then second or subsequent children. It is known but not always true. My son didn't learn to talk until i left my job when pregnant with my second so he was about 18 month old. He would point at everything and it worried me. So i took him to the Dr and my Dr said from that point on i wasn't to give him anything he pointed at until he said it or tried. I got a few picture books and within a week he was doing MUCH better. If he wanted his cup i would hold it in my hand and say the word over and over again. If he attempted to say it he got the cup if he shook his head or made a noise while pointing then he didn't get it. Try these words first, that are easier to pick up for most children...
puppy
kitty
baby
cup
banana..i know seems hard but it's not, you will get a variation here and it's cute.
duck
cow
mommy
daddy
nannie
papa
Any words that start with the letter B they pick up on first generally or end with a Y sound.
Autism isn't generally diagnosed until the age of 2. If your child's head grew substantially between the last checkup and his next that would be cause of concern, but if he is still on his arch there is nothing to worry about.
My nephew has autism, he was talking by the time he was 1yr and is now in grade 3 and has a grade 8 reading level. He is very advanced so as you can see autism doesn't mane they are slow.
My daughter is 10 months and still doing the army crawl. I don't have any worries about her because she was faster at some things then my son was. Every child will learn when they are ready. Shame on your Dr for putting this worry in to your head. Most Dr's say if a child is not speaking a certain amount of words by the 18 month appointment they get concerned and want you to work at it and give a little warning before getting therapies and such. If you have the time to take him now to a free speech clinic then by all means go, it wouldn't hurt at all. Make sure you read to him every night as this too will open his mind to new words and learn as he goes.
Good luck and no worries. Your son is PERFECT in every way.

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Amanda - posted on 02/15/2012

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Stop and breath. I have had two children now in speech theropy, none of which have autism. Both are very bright children, who just had problems with speaking. This is no reflextion on your childs ablities in life, unless other problems come up. But by the sounds of it its just a speech issue right now.

Carrie - posted on 02/14/2012

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i dont think your too worried. i am having the same worries with my 2 yr old (almost 3). He doesn't talk in any kind of sentences. he just mainly names objects and things that he wants but has never asked a real question or told me anything. i am going to a speech evaluation tomorrow to find out what is going on and I am super worried about what they are going to say

TINA - posted on 05/11/2010

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HAVE U HAD HIS HEARING CHECKED ? OR CHECKED TO SEE IF HE IS TONGUE TYED ? I was told when my youngest one was growing up that she wasn't up to her age developement . I took her to another doctor who , found that she was toung tied, to the tip of her tongue , it took a few years to get her where she needed to be with speech therepy. DOESN'T HURT TO GET ANOTHER OPINION ! I AM GLAD I DID ! If it is Autism there are many forms , DO your research , before U stress out !

Lexann - posted on 05/11/2010

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Yes, you are too worried. But the truth is, so is every new Mom. Definately have his hearing checked, but if that is fine, and especially since he is reaching other milestones, DON'T WORRY! Keep some things in mind: all children develop at different levels. Some walk at 10 months, some walk at 16 months; some talk in sentences at 18 months, others grunt until their 30th month. It is all perfectly normal. Just because your child doesn't fall into your Doctor's idea of "normal" or into some calculated average doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him. Average by definition means that some are under that mark, and some are over. It's just a guide, not a set rule. Also, keep in mind that boys develop social skills slower than girls. Boys are more motor skill minded. He will be able to sort blocks and ride his rocking horse before his female couterpart, but she will talk circles around him. It's just the way the sexes are wired. My oldest son didn't say anything (not even "Momma") until he was 27 months old. He's 6 now, and perfectly healthy. But his doctors got me worried, and I wigged-out there for a while, and all unnecessarily. Enjoy this time. Pretty soon you won't be able to get him to shut up!! :0)

Allison - posted on 05/11/2010

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I know a little boy who is now 4 or 5, but he did not speak until late either. He was 2 before he really started and had a shyness problem, so was 3 before he really started opening up. Every child is different.

Louise - posted on 05/11/2010

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I have studied both child development and trained in speech therapy and language problems. At the age of 16 months I would not be overly concerned with your sons speech. The earliest I would be concerned would be 2 years old. If your son is making sound with his mouth and babbling there is nothing wrong with your son. Children develop at different rates and he may just be a little behind but nothing to worry about. My own daughter did not really speak much until she was about 17 months and now at 18 months she is picking up a word per day. The first thing I would do is send your child for a comprehensive hearing test to make sure he can hear properly. Then I would put him on a programme of word games and picture games to encourage speaking. None of this would start until he is 2 years old. In the meantime just spend lots of time talking and singing to him with over exagerated facial expressions to make speech fun. Do not get his toys for him if he points for example if he wants his juice and points to it, say Juice, would you like some juice. Then when you pass it to him say ta. He will soon pick up odd words and you will be on your way to having a little chatter box. Hope this helps!

Karmi - posted on 05/11/2010

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I appreciate all the help everyone! My son's doctor didn't say much about autism, just said it could be a possibility. I think how I scared myself more into it is because I'mtaking psychology clases that have talked a little bit about autism and aspergers. I met a mom on here and her little girl was diagnosed at 16 months. My son will be 16 months when they come and evaluate him. I'm just praying it's a speech problem. But whatever happens, happens.

Karmi - posted on 05/11/2010

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My son is 15 months. HE also is having problems with his horrible tantrums and eatting.

Amanda - posted on 05/10/2010

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some kids are behind my youngest daughter is behind in alot of stuff and her is more due to heatlh issues. but she has been in speech thearpy for about 1year now and she is starting to catch up just breath and take it one day at a time or u will drive yourself nuts

Peita - posted on 05/10/2010

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How old is your son??? Autism has lots of things besides speech delay as an indicator, did the doctor suggest that or are you worried that is what it is???? Autism has lots of behavioural aspects and doctors don't generally diagnose Autism until at least 2yo! I think doctors sometimes get into ruts and forget that all children are different and develope in different ways, just because your child is taking a little longer to speak doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, is speech the only concern the doctor has???? If so the problem could be something like his hearing! It can't hurt to get the evaluation done, it will put you at ease, and if they do pick something up then you will have something to work with, it is better to know if there is something wrong and work on it than to not know and not fix the problem lol! I hope things work out and you don't stress too much, things will work out!

Kim - posted on 05/10/2010

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First of all, how old is your son? My sons both spoke late, but are perfectly normal children. My youngest could only say one word at his 2 year checkup. I had him evaluated and he received speech therapy for 6 months and his speech improved dramatically. He will be 4 yrs old next month and I just had him evaluated because the fluency of his speech is still not great so he will be starting speech therapy again this month or next. The best thing to do is to have him evaluated and if he is eligible for services take them.

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