Did anyone lose friends and felt like a big loser cause you cant do the same things you use to


Deborah - posted on 03/02/2011




Our best friends dropped us cold when I had my son (at 45). Their child was grown and they were past this in their lives. We just realized not everyone would embrace our lifestyle choice which is their choice- but it is ours and we wouldn't change it for the world. Go out and find new friends.


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Jo - posted on 03/02/2011




I have 7 kids and if I lived my life with the thought that everyone would embrace me as a friend, I would be nuts. It's actually funny, I had people fall off the friend radar with each child I had after the first 3. I love my family and have built a beautiful life around that. I think it's very important as a parent that we help our children to be the best little one's they can, and to give them the tools to survive in the world. I hope this helps.

Kelly - posted on 03/01/2011




i have lost alot of friends so i no how u feel, it was hard at first, im 24 i have a 3yr old and a 4mth old but alot of my friends dont have any kids so they still have big nights out etc the kinda thing im just not into and dont have the energy for anymore but they dont understand that. i tried to stay in touch with them but unless i was out drinking with them on the wkend they werent really putting in the effort to see me so i gave in, my family is more important ,if i need to get out now i just join my partner n his mates and thats fine for me there good they understand im with the kids all the time and dont have alot of gf anymore and as they start dating im meeting new ppl x

Robin - posted on 02/28/2011




I was 34 when I had my daughter. All of my friends have older children and many have forgotten what it's like to have a baby or toddler. I've had friends tell other friends that I've changed. Well, yes, I have. I'm a mother now. I even had one friend ask me to give her a "no nina pass" where no matter what she wanted me to do I couldn't use my daughter as an excuse to not do it. I told her it wasn't going to happen but she still tried to use it one night. Sure, I miss some of the people that don't talk to much anymore. Some I still talk to but it's strained because they think I've changed for the worse. Motherhood is the best gift ever - I have changed but it is for the better because it's for my daughter and I don't need any of those people who can't understand that.

Kara - posted on 02/28/2011




It's a shame that these "friends" are behaving like they are, but rest assured we've all been there. I became disconnected with a handful of friends because they didn't have children - I don't think they meant to push away, they simply didn't understand how time consuming and tiring having a child was. I was fortunate to connect with new friends; we had similarities/interests that made me feel less alone. I don't have a wide network of friends and some of my closet friends live in different provinces, but those who are close by are dear to me. I do hope things get better for you, that you connect with friends that you can relate too, but in the meantime, enjoy your child, family and the amazing Mommy you are! :-)

Susan - posted on 02/28/2011




Because I had my son 1 month before turning 40, my friends don't have children his age and we usually can't get together because of schedules.
I am still trying to make friends with mothers that have children his age, but the daycare refuses to pass on info to other parents or let me know who he plays best with.
Our neighborhood really doesn't have kids his age either.
It can be lonely.
I'm hoping when he gets to kindergarden I'll be able to meet the other parents and make some local friends there.

Alison - posted on 02/28/2011




Georgette, you should find as your son gets older, you will be able to get more rest and go out with your friends every once in awhile. If it is something you really enjoy, you should continue to do it, you will just not be able to do it so often.

Do enjoy your son, he is worth the sacrifice!

Georgette - posted on 02/28/2011




I felt like such a lose when i aked to hang out bbut they were all like there going out or to tierd its depressing kinda... hopefully this feeling passes soon enough and i forget about those people i just wanna enjoy my son

Stifler's - posted on 02/27/2011




Not sure really. I moved away from my old friends and we had friends with kids before we had kids so I didn't really lose any friends or stop doing things I used to do. I still catch up with childless friends when I go down to visit my parents.

[deleted account]

Everyone goes through this at some point. Most bounce back pretty quick but if it is/was a really good friend it can sometimes last longer. Just mourn the things you used to be able to do all the time and relegate them to the things you can do just once in a while. Trust me there will come a time when you realize you are not as young as you feel inside anymore and nobody will see you as young. That is depressing as hell to. However, again, just think of all the things you can do and get to do now. I get to watch my kids grow, learn, and become wonderful women. I have a few of my own hobbies and I do get out occasionally with or without my DH. Mourning your past is fine. Letting your past keep you depressed about your current life will do no good. So look to the positive and enjoy life. :)

Bonnie - posted on 02/27/2011




I did lose a few friends that I had once I got married and had children. No warnings or anything just stopped talking to me. Ignorant if you ask me. Now the friends I do have are our (myself and my husband's) friends. So I more often than not only see them when my husband sees them too.

Sharon - posted on 02/27/2011




I definitely have less of a social life now, but I wouldn't want to go back to how it was. My son has me laughing all day long and I can never stay in a grumpy mood hahaha. If 'friends' can't understand priorities change then they aren't worth having around. Nope, never felt like a big loser because of it....We created a pretty awesome son (even if I do say so myself hehehe) and if that's all I do in this life, then I've accomplished a pretty darn good thing :-D

Sammie - posted on 02/27/2011




I definately do not socialise as much as I did before my children and yes it depresses me but at the end of the day I choose to have children and I wouldnt change them for the world and if my friend cant understand that then more fool them x

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