did i make a mistake by leaving an abusive relationship?

Tabatha - posted on 02/21/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




i was in a relation ship for about 4 years only problem was he was very abusive towards me so i left about three months ago because he abused me for four years then he would scream and holler at jaycee for crying and he wouldnt let me let her play it was like this for about a year all because he had a ps3 and would holler cause she got in his way or she was to loud and he never wanted anything to do with her so i left like i said around nov 30 2014 now he is fighting me for custody with the help of his parents mind you he has aspbergers and bipolar disorder i am at a loss why he would want to hurt me i never hit him back or anything i just took it well now that i left he is trying to take my baby girl from me :'( her name is jaycee she is so pretty i dont wanna lose her please i need morale support thank you


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Jenna - posted on 02/22/2015




No, you absolutely made the right decision. If he tries to take you to court over the custody of your daughter, you just tell them he hit you. Even if he had only done it once, the courts will take your side and you will get full custody, but with a history of violence and neglect, you might even be able to get a restraining order against him thrown in for good measure. Whatever you do, you fight tooth and nail for your little girl. SHE is your top priority, not the loser. You are a strong person and you will raise your daughter to be just as strong and you can't do that if you let yourself stay in an abusive relationship for ANY reason. She deserves better and YOU deserve better. Don't let anyone ever tell you different.

Gena - posted on 02/21/2015




You definatly did not make a mistake! You and your daughter deserve better!! And remember that you do not want your daughter growing up thinking the way her dad treated you is normal.

Michelle - posted on 02/21/2015




NO - You did NOT make a mistake! I just ended a very dysfunctional and abusive relationship with my soul mate, husband, father of my children, after 24 years. I have ended it many times previously, going as long as three years without him. I always took him back because he knew how to charm, sweet talk, and lie better than anyone else I know. He was deceitful, lazy, unwilling to put in the effort or work to improve his life.

He was in treatment two separate times, two different places for his drug addition, sex addiction, and mental illness problems. He was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Bipolar II throughout our relationship. He put in minimal effort to manage his mental illness, as well as the minimal required as a husband and father.

Our children witnessed far too many situations that involved physical abuse, mental abuse, and just down right disrespectful and out of control behavior. Not only did he manipulate me but he also manipulated our children into believing he could change for the positive.

He ended up breaking more than just my heart and promises to me but he broke his children's hearts, too. Our daughter is 20, not living at home and our son is 13, soon to be 14 in a few weeks. He idolized his father - simply to gain his attention and build up his father's self-esteem. But no more. My son said, "Why does he have to be a liar?" in the most disappointed tone of voice I have ever heard from him.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! DON'T LET HIM TALK HIS WAY BACK IN OR IT WILL CONTINUE AND WORSEN THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. And his actions will begin to affect others around you if you allow it to continue. Stay strong! Seek a therapist or counselor for guidance moving past this.

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