DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE FAMILY

Lashundra - posted on 06/04/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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MY SON DAD SIDE OF THE FAMILY WONT COME AROUND HIM OR EVEN LET ME BRING HIM AROUND THERE FAMILY! I HURT FOR MY SON. BECAUSE I KNOW HE DIDN'T DO NOTHING TO WRONG TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT. I PRACTICALLY BEGGING FOR THEM TO SEE OR SPEND TIME WITH HIM. THEY TAKE ME ASKING THEM TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM AS I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH MY OWN SON. ( WHY WOULDN'T I) ITS THE WHOLE FAMILY.

I BASICALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT DIRECTION TWO GO BECAUSE I PERSONALLY NEVER DEALT WITH NOTHING CLOSE TO THIS. EVEN THOUGH MY MOTHER AND FARTHER GOT DIVORCE WHEN I WAS 1 YEARS OLD, I KNEW AND WAS WELCOME OVER BOTH SIDES

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME SEE WHY THEY DON'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM AND WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT??

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[deleted account]

My sons Dads family is the same way. I have to go to them 99% of the time. My step sons I take to them to visit even though he lives 10 mins from some family. You cant force someone to be a part of there lives and when they do want to it will be to late. If you want to try then that is great and your child will see that you tried.

[deleted account]

I would distance myself from them. I would do this to protect my child. If they are rejecting you and your son...eventually your boy is going to see it..and he WILL know what is going on. You can't FORCE love...and I wouldn't want to expose my child to something so tense and unfriendly.
I would keep him away from them. I wouldn't bother them again, they have made their wishes clear. I wouldn't let their rejection hurt MY child. They wouldn't have to worry about me or mine again.
I would surround myself with family and friends who DO care...do show the love ya'll need. I wouldn't bring up the father until the child was MUCH older...and I would wait until the child asked why his Dad isn't around before I would talk about it with him.
Maybe if that feels just too distant for you, possibly send them a card at Christmas with a recent picture in it....let them see his little face and give them the option of contacting you (from the return address on the card).
That's what I would do...rearrange my life so they aren't in it...and then send them a little 'update' each Christmas...or maybe on his birthday instead. I wouldn't push the issue. Maybe after you've taken a step back and distanced yourself from them for a while...he may change his mind about being absent....if you aren't pushing him to be a father anymore.
Here is what would work with my husband....
Men always swing the OPPOSITE way we try to encourage them to go...use this to your advantage. Tell the man you DON"T want him near your son. SHOW him you don't want him near your son. I bet this changes his mind..and makes him start telling you that you CANT keep him from his son....and you CANT tell him what to do.
Then you'll have what you really wanted!

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