difficult 18 year old child

Christine - posted on 09/20/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have an 18 year old boy who just graduated and just started working, I thought. Apparently he had been lie in to us. He also left with his friend for 2 nights but did not return when he said he would. Was not answering my texts face book wiped off and he did not return my phone calls. I almost called the police. Am I overreacting? He needs to work right?


Jodi - posted on 09/21/2015




Of course he needs to work. You let him know, he either needs to be working full time or studying. Draw up a contract of your expectations for him, and make the conditions clear to him. If he does not meet the conditions, he's out.


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Cayla - posted on 09/22/2015




That's a grown man. He needs to be helping pay bills and pull his weight around the house with chores etc. If he is still in school he doesn't need to be gone for days at a time, I would have taken his car keys and made him take the bus to work for a week. Don't make things so easy for him to where he doesn't ever want to leave. All baby birds have to leave the nest. He needs to be a man and get his own place soon. Make sure he is saving his money and not blowing it all. So when he moves out he has furniture, emergency money etc. Just don't let him walk all over you. Go over the rules and expectations. If he cant abide by them then he needs to move out. Don't feel bad for threatening to kick him out either, it will make him more appreciative when he realizes he doesn't have a better place to go. If he did, he would be there already.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2015




You now have an adult, not a child. It is up to him how he lives his life from here on.
Yes, the kid needs to work, and to be a productive member of society. Does he live at home? Do you expect him to contribute to household expenses, as you would any other adult? Do you have any contract with him for rent or room/board? Do you have any conditions for an adult living in your home?
All of these things are important in order to have your adult child reside in your home. They are NOT children any more, and the longer you continue to treat them like children the worse off the situation will become.
Let him know that he either works, and contributes to the home that he lives in, or he gets out.

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