Difficult Husband

Mehak - posted on 12/30/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi. I just want to share my feelings and hoping to get a positive response. I have been married for almost 3 years. The problem is my husband treats ke like crap. He is nice but sometimes he makes me feel like i am a nobody. Little arguments are enough to make him say that it's over. I got married very early i am now 21 and i am continuing my education. He tells me that i am nothing and i don't even have a degree. He doesn't want me to be a sit home mother and wants me to work then only he will have children with me. I am alone. Even his family doesn't support us. They are rich and have only him as a son yet they don't want to. They tell us to move back with them but he doesn't wants to and always creates chaos by telling them that i am the one who doesn't wants to live with his parents and sisters. This is the second time he left me with his family and went back. I am heartbroken. His family doesn't want us to leave each other because they think that he will get spoiled if he lives alone but he doesn't want to try to works things out. It feels like i am the only one trying. I took admission in university and i am going to finish nursing. I don't know what he wants. I am so tired of trying but there is nothing else i can do. Moving back with his family is not an option because he doesn't have a job there and i am also studying. He also says that i married him because of greencard which is false. I married him because he was caring. He didn't have a job when we got married and was a substitute teacher but i still liked him for the person he was, he was nothing. His family was also against him because he wasn't able to finish law school but i supported him, they also didn't wanted us to stay and told us to leave as soon as possible. Now he is a teacher in vegas and yet he is not happy, he is 27 and he still hasn't figured out what he wants to do in life. He has moods and i am a burden on him. I try to work when i am off from school. He says now that we don't belong together, we are two different people and our families are different. Before he used to say that we were so much alike, when he didnt have a job he said before marriage that i am precious and if he had million dollars he would give them just to be with me. Now he is the same guy who broke his vows and says it's over. I don't want to leave him he is my first love but i don't want to depressed all my life. Please help i tried talking to him but he doesn't listen or even try slightest to be understanding.

3 Comments

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Spain - posted on 07/15/2016

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Hi mehak!! I see that you posted this long time ago but when a read your message I literally can feel your pain, I am not an expert and I don't know what to tell you because I also have a difficult husband and maybe my situation is even worst than yours, so I am not the right one to advise you, but I can offer you a ear, I am good listener, I am here and you are not alone.

Mehak - posted on 12/30/2015

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Thankyou Michelle yes i will try to make him go to counseling and make things better.

Michelle - posted on 12/30/2015

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I would suggest marriage counseling first up. If he doesn't want to go then let him know that it will be over if he doesn't make an effort. If he still refuses then you know how much he wants to put into your marriage - nothing.
He is being verbally abusive to you, you don't have to put up with it at all. You deserve a lot better. Unfortunately, a lot of men put on a show to get the girls and then turn into nasty idiots a few years later. I had married someone like that but finally divorced him.
You need to decide how you want to live the rest of your life, divorced but happy and able to find the right person for you or stay married and be miserable. It's your choice.

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