Difficult situation - what can I do?

Catherine - posted on 03/30/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 14 year old stepson came to live with us last October from Philippines. Last time my husband saw his kid was when he was 3 years old. My husband has always sent child support to the mother and now the mother expects my husband to keep sending her money. She calls her son and tells him his father does not want to send her any money and it is creating a lot of conflict between him and us. My stepson believes his father should keep sending money to his mom. Now the mother wants her son back and my stepson wants to move back with her and has been misbehaving. My husband does not want to separate from his son, but I do not think the relationship between them is going to improve because the mom will not stop manipulating my stepson into getting her money.

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Michelle - posted on 03/30/2015

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I understand what you have been saying. Maybe the conversations between your step son and his Mother should be monitored more closely. She shouldn't be giving her son the guilt trip.
You husband is right to be refusing to send her money, she doesn't have her son so she doesn't get child support. Maybe she should have thought of that before sending him to you.
The child should be able to enjoy his time with you without being hounded by his Mother.

Catherine - posted on 03/30/2015

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We have full custody. The mother lives in the Phillipines and does not work. She wants my husband to keep sending money but my husband is refusing and she is resorting in using her son to get what she wants. My husband is going to therapy with his son. I really don't know how to help my husband and I feel his son should go back with his mom at least until he is a bit older and can comprehend things better ?

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2015

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I think you husband should get a lawyer and arrange to have custody. If he has the child then he doesn't pay child support, the Mother should be paying but I understand that she probably isn't in a position to.
I would also get some family counselling. His Son needs to realize that he shouldn't be involved with adult things (child support is an adult agreement and NO child should know how much id paid if it is.)
You and your husband should let him know that he doesn't need to know about the child support and make sure you don't discuss it with him.

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