Difficulty Co-Parenting

Tanya - posted on 10/24/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Me and my child's father had only known each other for three months before I got pregnant. We really did not know one another. But he ensured me that he would be there for the child and that he would do right by me and the child. Well fast forward to two months after my child was born he walked away after an argument that we had. Later down the road I found out that he was seeing another woman and had moved in with her. He would come by the house to see our child but would make it difficult because he would always want to say negative things to me or throw it in my face that he was seeing someone else and that I was just miserable. He would ask to take my child with him but I would not allow it. Seeing as how I did not know where he was taking him to and I did not know this woman. Fast forward up to now my child is 11 months and now he wants to make it work. It went well for two weeks and then he reverted back to his old ways. Now he is to the point were when dropping my child off or picking him up he will call me names in front of my child or he will not communicate with me the things that's going on. Ex. I picked my child up from his dads house and he had on clothes that I had not seen before. I asked if they had been shopping he just mumbled something under his breath. I left it alone. Well the next day when I dropped my child off at the babysitter, I was informed that he pee'd through his diaper right when his dad showed up and that she had to change his clothes. The dad was there throughout this, so he saw everything. But when I asked the simple questions about the clothes he could not give me an answer. I can't talk to him. If we are talking on the phone regarding our baby it is conflict , I can't say anything or else he will hang up and will not answer his phone. Everything is an argument with him. I asked him simply to extend me the courtesy of letting me know that he has picked our child up from daycare. No, he can't do that. I have to call him and say did you pick him up. If I say oh what are you guys going to do today. He tells me none of my business. I have trust issues with my child's father. He is not American nor do I know any of his friends. I met his mother and sisters but none of them live in the states. When he takes my child I am always wondering what are they doing. I am having trouble dealing with his character and need to know how I should handle this situation. I don't want my child thinking that it is okay to be disrespective to women.

*Money wise: He is so petty he will buy boxes and boxes of diapers and wipes and store them at his house. The only thing that he takes care of is daycare which because I know the person our daycare is dirt-cheap compared to what we would have been paying. I need advise on how to deal with him. I am completely confused at this point.

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Tanya - posted on 10/24/2013

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@ Shawnn yes I know this and I am very much so kicking my self right now. But my child is here and the only thing that I can do is move forward. Thank you for your comment.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/24/2013

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Get paternity established. Get support orders in place.

Yes, you will need an attorney.

and, please, in the future, don't sleep with anyone that you're not fully committed to. If you don't trust him, and aren't comfortable with him, you should have taken that into consideration before you took that intimate step of having sexual relations with him.

Now all you can do is try to mitigate your damages by establishing paternity and getting the courts involved so that you have court ordered support and visitation orders.

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