Barb - posted on 11/07/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )
The goal of this post is to shine a spotlight on child molesters, to end the shameful silence their victims and the victim's family feel they need to perpetuate, to be able to talk openly about sexual abuse. To often crimes go unreported and even after they are, victims and their families feel shame and guilt as if they are the ones who did this heinous crime. I also want to warn everyone of someone i know who is a child molester who is scheduled to get out of prison in IL, Jan 08, 2012
My father is a child molester.
(this is when he was first arrested)
http://www.idoc.state.il.us/subsections/... (this is what he looks like now) If that link doesn't work, go to here: http://www.idoc.state.il.us/subsections/... and look for Devine with the birthdate of 05-22-1937
Before when i would tell people, i felt the need to point out all the wonderful things he has done. He went to India and helped after the Tsunami hit. He paid for a boy with spina bifida to go on a cruise. He never abused me. He was a leader in his church, sometimes giving sermons and teaching a sabbath school class. If he would not have admitted to me with his own lips what he had done, i never would have believed it.
Now all those good attributes are important to point out, not to show how good of a man he is, but how normal in society he is. That is the truly scary part. He is a charmer and a con man. He's not the creepy stranger danger that everyone fears will hurt their child. He's a dad, a grandpa, a brother, an uncle, widowed, elder of the church, with pictures of family all over his well maintained pretty house on the lake. No one would ever suspect him as a stranger danger, because he is not a strange stranger. He becomes your friend and then does horrible things to your children.
Here are some terrifying statistics:
To highlight a couple of these:
Most sexual abuse happens between the ages of 7 and 13.
There are over 491,720 registered sex offenders in the United States.
80,000 to 100,000 of the above offenders are missing.
Molesters known by the family or victim are the most common abusers. The “Acquaintance Molester” accounts for 70-90% of reported cases.
~ end ~
It is far more likely that children will be abused by someone they know than the illusive "stranger danger"
It has been suggested that 60% of girls have been molested before they reach the age of 13, and 40% of boys. These are just the reported cases.
So how do you know if your child has been molested. Many sites state behavior changes become apparent, thoughts of suicide, unusual interest in sexual things, or a complete avoidance, may make statements their body is dirty or something is wrong in the genitalia area. But there are also physical signs a child has been abused. If they have been forced to give someone oral sex, they may develop a sensitive gag reflex and may change eating habits. A friend of mine who is a midwife said that many times when women have been raped, they have to get a c-section because their body will shut down when they try to engage their pushing muscles. So a child may develop an inability to have a bowel movement.
Keeping it a secret only helps the child molester molest more children.
So many times on the news we hear about a youth pastor or school teacher or someone who is involved with children at an organization have harmed a child in their care. Have you ever gone through your church directory or day care or school provider and put their names to the sex registry to see if they are on it?
Here is a quote from my father's pastor. "Pastor Rick Odle, of Oakville Seventh-day Adventist Church, where Devine attended service, was shocked to hear the news. "Bill Devine has been a member of this church for a number of years," Odle said. "He is highly respected and he is the last person people expect for something like this to happen. It sounds uncharacteristic of the Bill we know."
People aren't not molesters just because you don't want them to be.