Discipline Tactics that work

Patricia - posted on 12/15/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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spank or no spank? time out or no time out? I believe in spanking when needed. The punishment must fit the crime, but I was just wondering how you all discipline your children? tell me a story about what your child did and how you handled it? As a single parent I am the only disciplinary and I need some ideas!!!! I know there are some creative ways to discipline!

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Emily - posted on 12/15/2010

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Also, I have to make sure I'm absolutely consistent. If I say I'm going to take a train, and he doesn't listen, I take a train. He knows I mean business.

September - posted on 12/15/2010

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No spanking and no time outs. We use love and logic techniques. It focuses on logical and natural consequences.

Example: Our son is playing with the oven. I walk over to him, remove him from the situation, I then get down to his level and tell him why it's not ok to play with the hot oven, and lastly I offer other options (at least 2) that are ok. Works like a charm every time regardless of the situation. I never once have spanked our son or used time outs, it's just not necessary in my opinion. Below is a link to a very helpful community of lovely ladies with great ideas as well.



http://www.circleofmoms.com/positive-beh...

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Megan - posted on 12/15/2010

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i do both with my kids. and i only discipline when they are directly disobeying something i have told them. when my three year old gave herself a hair cut with daddy's buzzer she did not get disciplined because i had never told her not to touch them. but when i tell my son to come to me and he turns to run from me i swat him (with out any anger!!! VERY important). any kind of discipline will be affective as long as it is done out of love for the child and done consistantly. good luck!

JuLeah - posted on 12/15/2010

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Spanking when needed, but it is never needed. Time out is only a tool to help a child calm themselves, it is not a punishment and ought not ever be used as such.
The goal of discipline is to teach self discipline.
So, on each occation, ask yourself. "What do I want to teach here?" "Are my actions teaching that?"
Kids don't do bad things, they don't commit crimes :)
They are confused, tired, hungry, coming down sick, misunderstood, in need of physical activity, frightened, angry, hurt .... and they react.
Sometimes they do behaviors that are completely normal, such as exploring their world, and make a huge mess.
My daughter once wanted to look at the bottom side of her glass, to see the liquid from that point of view.
Who knew it was all gonna come out the top end of her glass?
Reaction: Have her help clean, and then give her a lot of time to play with liquid in a way that won't make a mess in the living room .... so plastic cups in the bathtub and things like that.
The one time she really pitched a fit in the store, we left. It was unlike her, as I had with me distractions, and tasks for her to do. Before we were home, she was offically sick. She had such a high fever with that illness, no wonder she was cranky.
The best thing is to set up the enviornment ahead of time. Don't take a toddler long over due for lunch and a nap to the movie or the market.
Understand that if it is shinny, your 2 year old will want to pull it down.
Understand you new walker will grab table clothes to help them stand and balance ... so anything on the table will come off.
We were at a fire works show once and arrived early to get good seats. My daughter was wiggly, jumping over people, wouldn't/couldn't sit still .... I took her to a big open feild and had her run run run .... we played all kinds of running games ... she was sooo ready to go back and sit on the blanket and wait for the show to start.
I am not sure how old your kid is, but I have had great luck just making effort to see the world from my daughters point of view.
And asking the questions I posted above,
I never wanted her to learn to hit or to learn that sometimes it is okay to hit, so I never hit her.
I want her to speak to me with respect, so I speak to her with respect and teach her to demand that from others.
I can't think of a time she has 'been bad' or done something 'wrong' just to piss me off. She is very well mannered, kind hearted, good in school, sweet, funny .... I couldn't have pre-ordered a better kid ....

Emily - posted on 12/15/2010

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I don't spank. My #1 discipline tactic is natural consequences. For example, my son makes a mess, he cleans it up. For problems that don't really have a natural consequence, like not following a direction, I typically use loss of toys/privileges. My son loves his trains, so usually all I have to do is say, "If you don't go put your shoes on now, I'm going to take a train" for him to get moving. Occasionally I use time-outs, but I save them for instances when someone is getting hurt. Like when my son hits/pushes his baby sister. Time-outs serve to remove him from the situation and think about it a bit.

Casey - posted on 12/15/2010

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I think it really depends what age the child is. My 1 yr old will play with the oven or the heater and her dad or i will yell NO, or hit the oven/heater next to her hand to scare her. This does not work everytime, if it doesnt i will physically remove her from the situation. However she is too young to understand why. She knows what NO means but sometimes just thinks its funny until i take her away and stop her from getting back again. I am not totally against spankings but i dont think they will help at 1 yr old as she doesnt understand what she is getting smacked for, she just gets upset and doesnt learn anything.

Angie - posted on 12/15/2010

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My children have never required spanking. I'm not sure what would have to happen for me to do that. My children are older - 10, 12, 17 so the punishments are different. In general, at this age, I find that allowing me and my children to settle down and talk like can resolve things pretty easily. When my son broke curfew by 2 minutes - his curfew was cut back to 2 hours earlier for a month. He didn't argue when we talked about it in the morning, he knew he messed up. My 12 year old is a little more difficult. I send her to her room until she can be human again. Then we talk and my husband and I tell her what her punishment is. It's always reflects what she did - talking on her cell phone after bedime - no phone. Yelling at me, time spent without speaking except if she needs something - she usually spends that time (an hour usually) in her room. This works well for 2 reasons. It gives us the opportunity to cool down. It gives her time to think about what she did and to worry a bit about what her punishment will be. Find what things are important to you children and then use it as a way to discipline. When my son was younger, simply taking his beloved Match Box cars was enough.

Sherri - posted on 12/15/2010

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I use time outs and spankings. However, they never get a spanking without an explanation as to why they got the spanking and they never get a time out without an explanation as to why they were put in time out.

Sadie - posted on 12/15/2010

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shout NO that it makes them jump and they wont go and do it again, there prob just cry as u scared them and them u distract them with something else

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