Disciplining - What age is too young??

Michi - posted on 06/22/2011 ( 41 moms have responded )

18

0

1

My 13 month old daughter is so precious, she is smart, determined and also has a strong personality. She is going through a stage that she wants what she wants when she wants it... And there is nothing getting in her way. Whenever I take something away from her like a toy while I am changing her or an inanimate object she shouldn't be playing with, she gets really angry, throws a tantrum and it can get ugly. Today, I took the A & D ointment away from her and she slapped me in the face. I am a Christian and I do believe that we should not spare the rod (within reason) but I had to discipline her. Her reaction was a favorable one and it seems like she understood that hitting mommy is NOT OK!! IT HURT ME MORE THAN IT HURT HER TO DISCIPLINE HER... But is it too early for this kind of discipline?? She is only 13 months??

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

JuLeah - posted on 06/23/2011

3,133

38

694

Sherri ... why would you not use natural consequences? Life is the best teacher. You forget your coat; you get rained on and feel cold. You skip lunch, you feel hungry. You don't study for a test, you fail. You touch a hot stove, you get burned. You drop a dish, it breaks ..... separate a kid from natural consequences and they struggle to understand cause and effect. They struggle to understand how they have control, how they influence events. They look to others, always, to make sense of their life for them.



Added: Can't tell you how many teens I know that simply don't get this ... all of their lives they have been sheltered from the consequences of their own actions.



They are totally baffled about why things keep happening to them ... they feel powerless, in fact they are powerless.



They take no ownership of their actions, so everything that happens is the fault of someone else.



They take no ownership of their actions, because they have never seen the consequences of their actions.



For example, my nephew took candy from the store (age 11) and was punished by mom; spanked in fact.



Well, smart boy he was, learned how to not get caught next time.



Never once saw anything wrong with taking candy, except it seemed to piss off mom.



Mom told him, "Don't take what is not yours"



Mom lectured him.



Had mom marched his butt back to the store, made him deal with the manger, made him pay for what he took, let the manger respond to him .... might have made more of an impression.



Mom took that consequence away from him, and even lied to cover for him so great was her need to be viewed as a 'good parent'



Yes, kid kept taking stuff, yes, we on to take CD's and more expensive things .... in jail now





Yesterday I picked a teen up from the park. We were about half way home when she said, "I forgot my swim towel at the park"



We turned around, but she pointed out that I ought to have remembered her towel.



It took her forever to find the towel at the park because she had no idea where she had last had it, and no one knew where it was. She said, "What stupid people"



All of that was not her fault, not hers in anyway. She was at the whim of me and strangers.



I don't know if I am explaining myself well .... I could not live in a world where I had as little power as these kids have. I want my daughter to understand her power in the world ... if she is late for school, that is on her and next time, if the consequence was not one she wanted, she will not be late.



If I take that consequence from her, I also take her chance to learn, to grow, to feel powerful.



I can nag her, yell at her to finish her lunch, or trust that she is bright enough to eat if hungry and remember for next time if she ended up going hungry



When she was very little I dressed her, when she got a bit bigger, I told her to take a jacket, when she got a big bigger, I would say something like, "Looks like rain, I am going to take my jacket"



Then I stopped doing that. There were a few times, she got rained on, and got wet. I didn't nag, yell, spank ... I trusted her.



Now, she glances at the sky and makes a choice.



I know teens that don't have that skill. They walk out in the snow with no jacket ... followed by their mother running after them with jacket in hand .....



Still, don't know if I am making myself understood.



Added: Talked with an 8 yr old about this issue. Dad believed in spanking, mom never hit him.

When in trouble, he wanted Dad.

I asked, “You want to be spanked?”

“Yah, Dad’s belt hurts, but it is over fast. Mom makes me think about what I did. I hate that”

Jodi - posted on 06/23/2011

3,562

36

3907

You think that at 13 months old by hitting you she is not honouring her parent, and therefore you should spank her because the bible told you to? Oh boy. I think I will hit the back button on this one before I say something I regret.......

But let me leave you with this. The bible does not tell you to spank. You choose to spank. Own it and stop hiding behind the Bible as your excuse for hitting a 13 month old BABY.

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

The problem is, you ladies are interpreting the rod verses literally, and from a western viewpoint. You just can't do that. You need to take everything into context; who was the Bible written to? What was their culture? How did they view the world, how does their language operate? Is the text supposed to be taken literally or figuratively based on whether it was prose or history? What is the exact context talking about and whom? Did you look up the actual Hebrew characters for their definition (and not Strong's, which is translated directly into a latin-based language).

Considering all of the above, there truly is no support for physical punishment of children.

[deleted account]

Discipline is teaching, so it's never too young for that. Discipline starts at birth.

What you are talking about it punishment and more specifically spanking... and while I am NOT anti-spanking... spanking for hitting at this age is not a good idea. If she slaps you a better response would be to firmly, but gently grab her hand and say 'no. you do NOT hit Mommy. Be gentle.' and then SHOW her how to touch your face gently.

Sarah - posted on 06/22/2011

629

0

83

The question is, if you're starting out with smacking her at this early age, what are you going to do when it stops working, smack harder?

Why do you need to take toys away when you're changing her? I always found giving them something to hold and play with made changing them much easier. At this age it's much easier to work out strategies for avoiding confrontation, such as making sure things she shouldn't have are out of reach, than trying to discipline her for what after all is only natural curiosity.

41 Comments

View replies by

Krista - posted on 06/26/2011

12,562

16

847

So, um, if you feel perfectly justified and good about spanking your 13-month old, then why did you even bother posting the question about whether or not she was too young for this?

Most of us here obviously feel that yes, 13 months is MUCH too young, but you've already made up your mind. So what was the point?

Michi - posted on 06/24/2011

18

0

1

I appreciate all the responses... However, coming from an upbringing where my mom did spank when necessary (not very often) I felt in this situation it was needed. I am a first time mom, expecting my second in August and would appreciate it if people would not ciritcize or judge me for what I do with my child. This is not what this forum is for. I appreciate constructive criticism and advice. Contrary to some of your beliefs, I believe that spanking at 13 months is not bad if done appropriately and within reason. I don't hit my child just because. Most of my approaches are explaining to her and showing her the right way. Because I spanked her does not mean I don't love her. I will just end by saying that if any of you moms feel it is necessary to argue or get irritated in your responses, this forum is not for you. It's ok to disagree, but respond respectfully and nicely.

Sherri - posted on 06/23/2011

9,593

15

391

JuLeah, they have natural consequences but I don't think that is enough. They have to deal with the consequences at school persay then they have to walk through that door and face me and I will tell you that should scare them a hell of a lot more. Then there will be additional consequences loss of privileges, loss of special outings, loss of items, tons of hard labor etc. and long long talks or they call them lectures.

When they were young and took things from a store I marched them back into the store and had them tell them they took the item and have to face the music. I don't shield them from natural consequences I just don't think that is even close to enough in consequences.

Jeannine - posted on 06/23/2011

20

37

0

Uhmmm...your daughter is 13 months? Wanting it when she wants it, is basically the stage she's in right now. And it is difficult for her to comprehend why she can't have something. I have two daughters (one is 18 months, one is 6 years.) With my 18 month old, I find she is very much in the "distraction" phase. If she has something she shouldn't, I try to calmly distract her into wanting something else. Or singing a song, etc. This phase doesn't last long, so I'd try to take advantage of it. I try to avoid escalating it to the tantrum. She can be aggressive sometimes and I try to show her what "gentle" looks like. And I use a very firm, "No" or "Stop" She knows that firm voice is serious and it can sometimes make her cry, but I then try to calm her down and then distract her with something she likes to do. In no way does she "get her way." And I also try to have her use her words, even though she has very few of them. Basically, I try to give or show her the alternative to her behavior. If you are talking about discipline as a spanking. I'm just not sure if hitting your 13 month old to teach her to not hit will communicate what you want to her. She just may be learning that sometimes hitting is okay. We didn't start giving time-outs with our oldest until she was 20 months. She is an extremely high-spirited child. And tantrums started with her at 10 months & some could go on for two hours. Persistence is her middle name. So, I've had to be extremely creative in how she is disciplined. The whole rod thing just doesn't cut it with her but neither is giving in just because she can have a 2 hour tantrum. She NEVER gets her way by throwing a tantrum or by trying to talk her way out of it. (A quiet time out never really ever happened with her.) I tried pointing that out to her once. That she never gets her way with that behavior & after a very thoughtful moment, she said, "I'll just keep trying anyway." Like I said, we've had to be very creative. But I do believe what works for one kid, does NOT work for all kids.

JuLeah - posted on 06/23/2011

3,133

38

694

I never want blind obeidance. I never want my daughter to obey and adult simply because that person is an adult ... family included. I want her to think and if she is in a situation where an adult is telling her to do something she is not comfortable with, fears, ... I want her to know she can be rude, she can hit, she can run away ... and can do whatever it takes to get herself ina safe situation

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

Yep- work on grasping the subject and take the time to do it- and there probably won't be time for play activities. But I would work WITH my children to help them succeed- it doesn't have to be made into a punishment, as in 'take that, you little stinker for slackin off!', but a logical consequence, like Jodi described.

Jodi - posted on 06/23/2011

3,562

36

3907

"If you misbehave in school or slack off on your school work - you lose all extra free time privileges."

Sherri, that is logical consequences. There are times where natural consequences should be supplemented with parental intervention as a logical consequence. In this instance, I have the same rule in my house. My son, if his schooll work is not up to scratch, loses all his weeknight free time and must study to catch up. I don't see that as losing free time, but rather gaining study time. Logical consequence.

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2011

5,928

34

393

I'm with you with everything but the last part, on that part I agree with Lisa. ;) Sounds like we do share the same views on discipline except that one tiny aspect of it.
Yes I do agree there are times children need to obide by the rules of society for their own safety (and other's). But I believe in teaching those rules to them through example, role playing procedures, conversations or just flat out removal from the situation.
My children are allowed to say 'no' to me. I don't get into unnecessary power struggles but when safety is of a concern we all know that just isn't up for debate. I will remove and start implementing role playing safety procedures and have discussions. It's always worked with my kids (of course age appropriately).
If they say no and it requires a logical consequence I will implement one if need be.
It just seems that with age my children listen more to discussions and trust and respect my words of caution. They also arrive at their own positive conclusions through discussion.
I don't want my children to mindlessly follow authority figures because authority figures are not always just. I want them to trust and respect authority figures who earn that trust and respect.
Mind you I am instilling in them that EVERYONE deserves respect and consideration.

Sherri - posted on 06/23/2011

9,593

15

391

I see defiance as down right rude and not tolerated here. I am the boss and they must listen to what I tell them, when I tell them period. They argue or are defiant their are consequences depending on the situation and age. Interesting that others see it differently though.

We use time out(for my 5yr old), loss of privileges(all), grounding the older two, I don't like using natural consequences in our house.

If you misbehave in school or slack off on your school work - you lose all extra free time privileges. You are disrespectful - you are grounded and sent to your room period, Extra unchoice chores is always a great one.

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

I don't see definance as something that I believe is necessarily bad. We want to raise our children to be assertive, free-thinking, persistent, independent individuals, and with that comes negotiating and defying.

Lucy - posted on 06/23/2011

83

27

10

Jennifer, absolutely, most of the discipline in my home tends to be "hands-off" - if you behave a certain way, you have to live with what happens (obviously when the consequences are safe!), and if you make a mistake or a mess, you need to help make it right. But I also like "catching kids doing good" - heaping on the praise for positive behaviour, and paying very little attention to negative behaviour, and, since kids usually take great delight in pleasing, we honestly get to very few situations where punishment is ever needed :) I just honestly believe that if a child is given a clear instruction they need to be in the habit of following it, for their own safety if nothing else, so I am very strict on genuine defiance, but am very willing to put up with, and teach away, just plain childishness.

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

No, there haven't been any instances in which we have had to punish. We don't punish at all. I see no need for it.

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2011

5,928

34

393

Well, I'm far left-wing. ;) I don't believe in punishments, persay. I believe in consequences both natural and logical with as little parent intervention as possible. Sounds like you probably use those as well?

An example would be if my children are not sharing a toy. They have to put it up on the shelf until they decide who's turn it is or figure out a solution.

If they break a toy or make a mess,they have to put it in the garbage or they have to clean it up.

I encourage them to take their own consequences for their actions. I play mediator, basically. The consequence has to reflect the action.

Lucy - posted on 06/23/2011

83

27

10

Sorry, didn't mean to confuse - I didn't mean that spanking in itself is ever unavoidable, just that here are situations where the discipline cannot be building on positives and has to be an actual punishment, whatever punishment that translates to in your home. And no, spanking is by far not the only punishment I use in my home - I reserve it for nothing but deliberate defiance of a direct instruction.

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

Jennifer, my cousin wrapped up his mother's switch one time and brought it to his mother to spank him. I wanted to barf when she told me that story.

Minnie - posted on 06/23/2011

7,076

9

788

Hmm...I honestly haven't found an 'unavoidable' time in which I had to spank either one of my girls- and we DID spank our first until she was 2 1/2 (and regret it and have moved away from that mentality). And our girls are as far from complacent as you can ever get. I just can't imagine anything they could do that would justify me laying a hand on them (btw, it always does confuse me how Christians who defend spanking with the Bible somehow manage to translate 'rod' into 'hand on rear').

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2011

5,928

34

393

Interesting, I have never heard of that before, a child asking to be spanked. Guess you learn something new everyday.

I've never experienced those 'unavoidable times' where I felt there was no other choice but to spank. There's always a 'choice'. But I'm not one to say spanking as a last resort and if done 'properly' is the worst thing in the world and abuse. I think it's completely unnecessary, but I wouldn't say it's abuse if it's age appropriate, done while the parent is not angry, isn't excessive (ie: leaves marks) and as a last resort.

But I do think spanking a child under the age of 2 is abuse. It is illegal in my country (not saying it is everywhere). That is more than an opinion where I'm from, it is a fact.

I also believe the line of what is abuse and what isn't is so fine and entirely subjective that it is a dangerous thing to be tampering with at all.

Lucy - posted on 06/23/2011

83

27

10

Jennifer, believe it or not, my own son, who is only 2, will ask me to spank him if he knows he has done wrong, and I have known others who have done the same, so I do debate your point. But other than that I agree with you - any punishment you use needs to be done fairly, and in a way appropriate to the child's age. I also think it is better to avoid punishment altogether as far as possible, and with a bit of creativity it is certainly possible for the large majority of your discipline to be positive rather than negative... But there are those unavoidable times!

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2011

5,928

34

393

Sure, even timeouts can be cruel when used improperly. I use them as quiet time to teach my children to calm themselves down, not as a punishment. My children now 3 and 4 put themselves in timeout when they experience runaway emotions and we talk after they are calm and ready. I put myself in timeout as well, when I'm angry or overwhelmed. I model the behaviour for them. It's a very useful tool for all ages so we don't react when we're angry. THAT is not cruel, it's teaching them self-control and self-discipline. My children willingly give themselves timeouts when they're angry. Children do not learn to willingly spank themselves or ask a parent to spank them when they are 'out of control'.
Spanking is a punishment and most of the time, punishments are cruel.
Tools that teach self-discipline are not.
I would never do anything to my child that I wouldn't do to myself.

But yes, I agree that some parents do take time outs to an extreme as well. Just like I think it's extreme to hit/spank a baby or child under the age of 2 years old.

Lucy - posted on 06/23/2011

83

27

10

Juleah, I absolutely hear you, but I assume I am addressing sensible, responsible adults...

And, while you may not agree with the distinction, I am right behind you on "Don't hit your children." I just don't think that a spank on the bottom, that leaves no bruises or marks, and is administered with a careful explanation of why the behaviour was wrong and, since this topic began with the assumption of Christian beliefs, a prayer for God's forgiveness and an assurance of the parent's forgiveness, is the same as "hitting". Personally I find other popular methods of discipline, such as "time-out", more cruel to the young child, as it is prolonged, and goes against their natural desire to move and explore. A spanking is short and to the point. But, I say again, in a loving family, I believe any method of discipline, so long as it is used clearly and consistently, is right for that particular family.

JuLeah - posted on 06/23/2011

3,133

38

694

@ Lucy ..."so honestly, so long as we are all convinced we are doing the best we can for our kids, can we not just live and let live? "

Because I work with parents that put coke (soda) the the baby bottle, cook meth in the kitchen, and break arms when their child displeases them ... and I promise you ... these parents believe they are doing a good god as parents. I hear it all the time from mothers and fathers both, "I have made mistakes, but I am a good parent and I can be proud of that"

It comes down to, where to we draw the line? When asked, I will share my opinion, "Don't hit your children"

Or, do any of the above ....

Lucy - posted on 06/23/2011

83

27

10

I think where people may be confused is that the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" is a misquotation, so yes, as it stands, that is not in the Bible. But Proverbs 13 verse 24 says, "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." There are also many other references to physical discipline in the Bible, which I won't list here, but enough to say, yes, the Bible really truly does encourage spanking!

But that said, I would say it is certainly not applicable to every situation, and needs to be used very cautiously with young children, as they can easily misunderstand. I also think that this is essentially a personal issue, and it has to be something you feel comfortable doing - not that you're ever going to enjoy it (if you do, please seek psychological help!!) but that you feel certain it is the right thing to do. And it needs to be something you can do consistently, calmly and fairly. I know a friend who does believe in spanking, but will never use it personally because she has a quick temper and is afraid she may hit her child in anger.

So, I don't think this is ever a topic everyone is going to agree on, because it carries many other issues behind it, so honestly, so long as we are all convinced we are doing the best we can for our kids, can we not just live and let live?

JuLeah - posted on 06/23/2011

3,133

38

694

You didn't offer discipline. You hit her. To discipline is to teach.
You start teaching the moment of birth, when you smole at her, hold her, feed her .... she learns to trust in the world, trust in you (extended later to people in general) she learns her world is a safe place to be, she is leaning her needs will get met, she has some power to make things happen ....
It is not 100% accurate to say hitting doesn't teach ... you did offer a lesson. The biggest person gets to hit. Little people don't. I am not sure that was the lesson you wanted to teach.
Offer language, that is what she is lacking. When you take something, offer a trade ... wave another toy near her and catch her eye with it, she will drop the A&D to reach for the toy .....
And, to be clear, the line about spare the rod, spoil the child .... not from the bible .... not in the bible .... was never in the bible .... Not sure what else you might have meant by the Christian reference ...

Yvonne - posted on 06/23/2011

10

0

2

I agree with Lucy for defience I do spank and have since my children were very young ( not younger then 2)but for tantrums I ignore it, walk away

Krista - posted on 06/23/2011

12,562

16

847

I'm trying to picture Jesus spanking a baby, and I think a few of my synapses just short-circuited.

And yeah, Lisa knows her Bible. Don't even go there. :)

Sherri - posted on 06/23/2011

9,593

15

391

As long as you are explaining and trying to curve the behavior. No 13mo's is not to young. A spanking is definitely discipline and a good method if done correctly. Just make sure you aren't only spanking but also explaining and teaching along with the it.

Deepti - posted on 06/23/2011

492

16

152

she is too small to understand the meaning of discipline however u can teach her to behave well by setting up ur own example.. so avoid negative language, yelling and shouting . also show her how to be polite by doing it urself. for more useful ideas go to this link:http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/...

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2011

5,928

34

393

Discipline is teaching.

Spanking is punishment.



Saying Lisa is not familar with the teachings of the Bible is laughable at best. I happen to know she is probably one of the most educated women on here on the Bible, particularly it's original text.

You want to spank your 13 month old baby, fine. I say there's always a better way. You obviously don't want to hear that even mom's who are pro-spanking disagree with you on using that punishment on a 13 month old baby. Even they are telling you it's far too young. Why ask the question then?



In my country that would be considered child abuse, hitting a child under the age of 2. I'm not sure what the laws are where you're from.



My daughter went through a slapping stage at around 7-8 months. She liked the way it sounded, like clapping hands (which she also had just learned to do). She wasn't trying to be 'naughty' just experimenting with cause and effect (as babies do). I just put her down on the floor anytime she slapped and didn't give her a reaction to it. Babies don't like being put down and it loses it's appeal quickly when they don't get a reaction to it. She's 13 months now and hasn't slapped since. The phase only lasted a month. She's not doing it to be mean to you or to hurt you. She doesn't understand that concept yet. But you, an adult, should know better.



If you think everyone's going to agree with you and say good job, you're doing awesome at keeping your 13 month old baby in line! ummmm..... sorry, it's just not something many people are going to agree with.

Michi - posted on 06/23/2011

18

0

1

@ Lisa, It is obvious you are not familiar with what the bible teaches about honoring your parents and not sparing the rod. She has hit me before in the face, that is why I took this approach. Before I resorted to this, I have told her 'you don't hit mommy' and have taken her hand and softly touched my face with it to show her how we touch the face. I give her something to play with, this time it was the A & D Ointment b/c there was nothing else handy at the time that she wanted to be distracted with. But when it is time to go in to the car and go to the baby sitters, A & D needs to stay home. So that is why I took it away from her. I don't constantly spank my child & I discipline her in love & compassion. However, when it was is an outright defiance, as I know my daughter has done, slapping me or anyone in the face is NOT ok. Whether you agree with spanking as a punishment or not, that is your opinion & I respect it. But I felt it was necessary for this situation. I believe it worked b/c she looked at me and nodded her head up & down 'like saying yes mommy I understand'.... It broke my heart believe me, & I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. I am happy with the outcome. Thanks for all the comments though!! I truly appreciate it.

Amy - posted on 06/22/2011

6,467

33

2386

I have a 15 month old daughter who also has a temper, however the only person she hits is her 5 year old brother, the reason being is he is the only one who reacts to it. The one or two times she did it with me I said "no hit we give hugs", or I would say "no hit" and put her down or walk away. My son on the other hand gets all dramatic and falls over and makes a big deal out of it, so she keeps doing it because he gives her a reaction and the attention she wants. I agree that if you're starting this young you're going to have some serious issues when you get to two and three years old. If you need to take something away that she shouldn't have the distract her with something she really can play with.

Lucy - posted on 06/22/2011

83

27

10

I share your belief that children must be taught to obey, and do spank my son for disobedience (and have done since he was not much older than your daughter), but that is the only thing I use that punishment for, since I believe most toddler behaviour (tantrums and hitting out) is really just childishness and needs more gentle teaching while they outgrow the need for it. So, for tantrums, I explain why he can't have what he wants, then ignore if he chooses to scream or whine about it - no is no, you don't have to like it, but that won't change the answer. And for hitting and any other destructive behaviour I just get down and talk sternly to him, and if he doesn't listen, remove him from the situation, since really at this age it's mostly about not knowing how to express frustration. But yes, for a direct, defiant "No I won't listen", however it is expressed, a spank on the bottom is what he gets. I believe it vital that children be in the habit of obedience from a young age... What happens one day if you've been too lenient and obeying the instruction will save his or her life?

Krista - posted on 06/22/2011

12,562

16

847

So much for turning the other cheek, huh?

The object of discipline is to teach the child how to make good choices, really. To my mind, spanking her for slapping you did not teach her that hitting people is a bad idea. It simply taught her that when hitting, the larger person wins.

So what do you think she'll do if she's ever around a younger baby who gets rough with her?

At that age, the thing she wants most is your attention. So if she hits you, you say, "No hit!" and you turn your face away from her and ignore her for a little while. Eventually, if you're consistent with it, she will learn that when she hits Mommy, Mommy won't give her attention. It'll take time and patience, but it's a much more productive approach.

Victoria - posted on 06/22/2011

121

3

17

Time outs (or the naughty corner) are good for that age. They say one minute for each year of the child. I have done it with my son, and it really works.

Minnie - posted on 06/22/2011

7,076

9

788

Perhaps you are confusing 'discipline' with 'punishment'?

What you are doing is -not- discipline. And it definitely isn't Christ-like.

How about redirection and distraction? What she is doing is perfectly normal, age appropriate behavior. And it ISN'T sinful.

Amy - posted on 06/22/2011

4,793

17

376

The rod. The rod of discipline is usually showing them the right way and acting i leadership. Not necessarily spanking. There are a few times where we have spanked, but usually just keeping our calm and sticking to our guns shows them what's right and wrong. We do talk to them and tell them, but yes at younger ages they can't always "reason" and a quick spank on the bottom sure gets their attention as to "that is wrong!".

We always want to see our kids happy. So when we have to tell them no and they go crazy, we feel bad. but..think of long term. have to nip it in the bud, so to speak. can't let them walk all over you and when momma says no, it has to mean no and not...well, i said no, but really feel bad so now i'm gonna let you....

what helped me the MOST and may help you if you want to read it. There is a christian author who wrote a book called Parenting by The Book - goes along with bible teachings. by john rosemond. GREAT ideas in there. I strongly recommend. Also has a making the terrible twos terrific. Saved our sanity! Good luck hon. It's not easy, but you'll do a good job. Only time I really don't like to spank is for hitting. Then they think. yeah...it's a hit fest. eek.

My son got his first spank when he was close to that age. kept going to fireplace. it HAD to stop. spank sure stopped it. I was talking and redirecting until i was exhausted. spank sure stopped him in his tracks and he turned his attention right to me and knew - momma's SERIOUS! good luck hon.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms