Disconnect with 10 yearold son

Mommaj - posted on 08/01/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I've been separated from my sons Dad for 4 years. My son seems to habour alot of anger towards me and his step dad. Everything I try to do, is offenregarded with some off the cuff remark. I ask my son if he would treat anyone else like he treats me, and this seems to postpone the comments, but not very long, I'm trying to teach my son accountability, for example, if he doesn't get his work done, there are consequences. ( computer taken away, no tv for a period of time, etc... privilages) I heard him talking to his dad says ' I couldn't go because mom made me do work" He blames me for everything bad that seems to happen. I bought him a new bike this year after he did great in school. Its been sitting in the garage all summer. Every evening I ask " Want to get out, ride the bike, play catch, go to the park, anything?" and its always "maybe tomorrow" granted my son is not a sports kid at all, and have evolved to more of a couch potato then I like, but when it comes to doing anything with me. He is indecisive and uninterested. I don't know what to do. He only likes to be with his dad as its 100% play time.


Chet - posted on 08/01/2014




1. Try doing things with your son that he likes. Ask if he can show you how to play a video game he plays a lot and is good at, or ask if you can watch one of his favourite tv shows together. Try joining him instead of asking him to join you.

2. Try to use natural consequences to teach that his choices matter. When you use made up consequences like taking away tv for something that has nothing to do with tv kids can fail to see the logic in why the right thing is actually the right thing. Ultimately, you want kids to work hard in school because they value education. You want them to take out the garbage because they understand that it's smelly and takes up space and needs to be removed. He won't always have a mom to take away privileges, he needs to actually understand why certain things are valuable.

3. Remember that he's 10. Kids who are 10 don't fully appreciate what their parents do for them , they're generally quite good at complaining, and they rarely have a good grasp of how much their moods and actions can impact other people in the family. Your son probably doesn't mean what he says and does as strong as you feel it.

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