Discovered that my 12-year-old son has been searching for porn on his computer

Patty - posted on 07/25/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband discovered a few months ago, that there were various porn sights in the search history of his own computer, and knew it was during a time we were not home. When we asked our 11-year-old son about it, he tearfully admitted that he had been curious and searched for nude pics and porn. We grounded him, and he is no longer allowed to use his dad's computer. However, he has a computer in his room which does have a parental block on it.

Well, tonight, my older son revealed to me that his younger brother (now 12 years old) was once again viewing porn. He said that he discovered it about a month ago. He finally told me because he was "tired of you taking his side on everything". He has been waiting for me to discover what his brother has been doing on my own.

He took pictures of the search history on his brother's tablet and DS! I had no idea that he could get to porn sites on these devices! I thought my husband had put a parental block on the tablet, but apparently, he didn't. And the DS? Arrgghhh.

Now, I must again discipline my son for his actions. I went to his computer and checked the search history in front of him. He immediately started asking what I was looking for. He knew he was caught. He said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again. (He said that before.) He is now grounded from using any devices, except he can watch TV and read his Kindle.

I am wondering how other parents handle this. He knows we don't approve of him viewing these pictures/videos at his young age. I am thinking we should remove his computer from his room. If he needs to use a computer for homework, he'll have to use mine in my presence.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks,
Patty

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Ev - posted on 07/26/2014

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You should have been monitoring the usage of all devices all along not just setting up the parental blocks on the computer and hoping that is enough. We as parents must me on top of everything even viewing their history on all devices and checking their phones even if they have one to make sure they are not going to those places we do not think is appropriate for them. Parental blocks are all well and good but most kids these days know how to get around them or learn how. I would take all his electronics away as you said you want to do and take the computer out of this room. Doing homework only on yours when you are there is the best idea out of all the ones you have had so far. My own teen has abused computer privileges before and has lost the use of the computer or even has to use it only when I was around and then it had to be put up when I was gone. The point is my teen learned the lesson. And that lesson was for another issue but the point is I had to put the computer up. You also have to take into account at the age of 12 and up boys hormones are going to start going nuts, they are going to start to be interested in the girls and want to know what they look like. You need to sit down and not just tell him it is wrong buy why it is wrong in your eyes. Tell him its a degrading thing for women and that what they show in porn is not what love and sex between loving people is about. Its not realistic. It does not mean he is going to turn into some kind of weirdo when he grows up but he needs to understand that this could also lead to illegal activities depending on the state you live in. He has to understand that he needs to live by your rules until he is 18 years old and move on his own, or if he lives with you those rules will still apply if he is going to college.

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Dove - posted on 07/26/2014

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A child should never have a computer in their room... and he has proven that he should only have internet access w/ supervision.

Have you or his father TALKED to him about his curiosity and answered any of his questions?

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