Susan - posted on 05/11/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )
My daughter is 30 years old and we have had a difficult relationship for most of her life. She is divorced with four year son. My daughter has been diagnosed with severe PSTD. Last year she almost lost custody of her son due to her anger issues. I live three hours away and I am not in good health. I am also my father's full time caregiver. Our relationship is very stressed. I cannot tell her anything! I have tried to talk to her calmly about her anger issues to no avail. She will become enraged and scream obscenities to me. I put the phone down and then she will call weeks later and act as if nothing happened. When I try to address the issue, she begins to scream at me telling me I don't accept for the way she is. I am 59 years old and never had anyone use profane language in the heat of anger. Now, my daughter will be calling soon to ask me if I am driving up to her home for my grandson's birthday. I am conflicted. How do I see my grandson when I do not want to be anywhere around my daughter. We cannot talk. She has an explosive temper. I am fearful. My exhusband lives with her but does nothing. I am single. How do I set boundaries and still see my grandson. I feel compelled to cut off all contact until she has successfully completed treatment. I am never able to tell her what is on my mind before she cuts me off and verbally attacks me. She told me that she will not take my phone calls, she sends my text and emails to spam and has a separate facebook, for MY eyes only. How does one find peace? I miss seeing my grandson. I thought of writing a letter stating my feelings, but I am not sure how to go about it. I have missed two birthday parties (grandson) due to my chronic illness. I am so heart broken that she doesn't realize I am only trying to help when I speak up about issues that concern me ex;;;animal abuse. She takes everything as an attack against her. I think she wants a relationship where I am allowed to smile and nod in agreement and never voice an opinion. I said, it will never happen. i am an adult and have the right to give my opinon, just a she is allowed to do, AS LONG AS IT IS DONE RESPECTFULLY. I pick my battles with her and let alot of things slide, but something as simple as asking her nicely not to leave wet towels on the bed sends her into a tailspin! Sigh!! I don't know what to do. Please advise. Thank you!