Candy - posted on 01/12/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
Hello, this is my first time on Circle of Moms
I desperately need help and advice on three issues that involve my middle of three sons.
I'm going to do my best to keep it short and not write a book.
He is 27 and had always been called Momma's Boy out of my three sons. My boys have always been my joy & life. My two other sons are 30 & 20. Empty nest syndrome still effects me even though my youngest is home while attending college. As they each got older my dream of being a grandma grew. In March 2007 middle son and daughter in law call me and tell me I'm going to be a grandma with the test still in her hand. They kept me very involved during the entire pregnancy and at my first and only grand baby's birth. A grandson. For 2 1/2 yrs he spent at least three days a week with us and stay over one night. In May 2010 my son had to tell me because of work he had to move from home (Texas) to Florida. I was horribly devestated. I never imagined any of my sons could move away from me and worst my only grandson taken almost 1,000 miles away to live. Due to the fact that it wasn't mandatory he move made it more painful. His wife insisted I was told later, for what ever reason to get him away from his family. She and I had always had a close relationship. She is 4 yrs older than my son and a bit more mature. Seems like she just changed overnight when they got to Florida. They were there only a few days and they flew me out for 2 weeks for Mother's Day. My son hated seeing I was so heartbroken and he didn't want to move away from his family. I realized that she had become very controlling over him and now had a love/hate feeling for me. My husband is very understanding of my feelings and didn't mind me flying out couple months and staying the whole summer. She was the one that would call for me to come out. My son is still a kid at heart, always the class clown. In front of me she would belittle him and talk to him terribly if she didn't like what he was doing or saying. She is a wine drinker. The more she would drink the more he seem to irritate her. We refer to her as a mean drunk. After one glass she becomes very mean and hostile. After awhile when drinking she began to blame me for the way he acted. As time went by when drinking she became confrontational and hostile with me. Then she tried to be controlling and started being physically abusive. Not once has my son intervened and stop her. Even sober she would be very disrespectful to me at times. Never a word to her for treating his Mother this way. At the same time she wanted me doing things with her , telling me she loved me and thanked me for being such the best Memaw. I never stood up to her and put up with being treated so badly because if I did the first thing she would keep my grandson from me. He is my world! There are no words to explain how much I love and feel for him. My visits did become short and long in between. The more I start missing him I get down and can cry for days. We did Skype a couple times. When my daughter in law likes me she calls everyday and kept me up to date with my grandson and talk on the phone. My son knows how much his son means to me and how hard it is for me that they moved. A month will go by and no contact at all. Several times I've discussed with him the issue. It wouldn't hurt so much if we had some type of weekly contact. Its always he does love and care. He promises to start handling it better. Over 4 yrs later and its still the same. Me not knowing how he can be so disrespectful in so many ways and the grief I feel constantly because I miss my grandson so much I'm a wreck. My psychiatrist doesn't know what to do with me. I hate feeling like this. I've tried to control my emotions and feelings. My grandson loves & misses me to. They come home for Thanksgiving. November is always a very difficult time for me, very emotional. November 2003 I was almost stabbed to