DISRESPECTFUL SON 17 YEAR OLD

MRS W - posted on 09/29/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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NEED HELP WITH BEHAVIOR PATTERN ANGER.
HATES MOM AND DAD
ALWAYS BLAMES EVERYTHING ON OTHERS
RUDE TO SISTERS IN HOUSE
BUT NO DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS AT SCHOOL.

4 Comments

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Lori - posted on 09/29/2014

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no cell phone, no car, etc. until he behaves respectfully, he will not be treated as an adult. because he is not behaving as such.

American - posted on 09/29/2014

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Sounds like my seventeen yr old. I think he is struggling with the fact that he is almost an adult so to say and wants his freedom but I just can't trust his friends. we are slowly working on freedom but he has to make smart choices. could be an issue similar to my sons. don't think throwing him into counseling would solve all the issues but could help him understand how to deal with his feelings. as parents we want to fix the problem and sometimes they are just being teenagers.

Ariana - posted on 09/29/2014

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At 17 it would probably be helpful to see a family counsellor to help deal with the problems. Although he is the main focus of the issues it's probably better to have family counselling since all members contribute to and are effected by this behavior somehow.

You can't change his behavior you can only change yours and hopefully your behavior will influence his.

The best thing to do is focus on specific behaviors rather than trying to change 'disrespect' since that's really broad. What is he doing that's rude to his sisters? List the top three specific behaviors you want to change and only focus on those 3 for now. So if he screams at his sisters and you then you can talk to him and make a rule about screaming at people. What type of things does he like?

If you make a rule you need a consequence, if he's allowed to use the car then if he screams at you he loses the car for the next day (or whatever).

At this age it's going to be harder, a lot of it should be discussed with him since he's obviously old enough to understand. You and his dad (your husband?) should try to get on the same page for the behaviors you want changed and the discipline you're going to use so you'll be on the same page.

I still would try and go to a family counsellor since they'll be able to look at the whole situation and the dynamics of the family to see what can be done that would be helpful.

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