Disrespectful Teen

Amber - posted on 04/07/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm a mom of 4, 2 biological boys, and 2 step kids. I'm currently dealing with my 15 year old sons attitude. A lot of things have changed over the past year, I recently got married, him and I bought a nicer home than the boys and I lived in. We recently moved into it, but we are still updating it. My married life is a bit different than normal, we actually have 3 homes, 2 we live in and 1 the boys and I lived in which we are going to sell. My husband is with the boys part time when I have them. I have them a week on and a week off. The other time he is with his kids in a home 2 hours away. My problem is my oldest would rather spend my time with his dad. I refer to him as the Disneyland dad because its all fun there no rules. At our house we have rules. And very few chores. My son is very disrespectful to me and even laughs in my face. I attempt to take things away and he steps in and says you can't my dad bought that for me. His dad is absolutely no help either. I'm at my wits end, my husband and I argue a lot now about everything and my child is doing everything he can to disrespect me. I'm torn not knowing whether to let him go to his dads or make him stay with me on my time. I love him and only want what's best. Any thoughts?

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Raye - posted on 04/07/2016

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If the custody orders say he's with you that week, then he should stay with you. You can't control what happens (or doesn't) at the father's house, but you most certainly should have rules in your house. And all kids in your home need to obey them. The custody orders say that your time is your time. That's the way it is. Period. No discussion. No negotiation.

If the father decides to go to court to change the orders, then the son may have a say in who he lives with. But when the judge asks why he wants to live with dad, if he doesn't have a better answer than "cause I get my way", then the orders probably won't change.

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Amber - posted on 04/07/2016

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This is my biological child. Yes I see my step kids on weekends and a couple days during the week when mine are with his dad. Its the only way one of us didn't have to give up any custody. My son wants to stay with his dad.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2016

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I am confused, is this your bio-kid or step kid. You live separately from your spouse when he parents his own kids? So you don't ever see the step kids? When your son says he wants to live with dad, does he mean bio-dad or step dad? Can you clarify?

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