Divorce

Tina - posted on 07/10/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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In the divorce settlement I gave my ex our home because I thought he could afford the house payments as well a general up keep on the house much better than on my salary.

6 months after divorce my ex wants to move his girlfriend into the house because he cannot afford it on his own.

We have a 7 year old son who is going to see this and I am not sure what to do. The decision to give him the house was based on the premise he could afford and now realizes he can't .

I don't want my son to think living with a girlfriend is ok. I feel his father is not demonstrating good values and decision making.

Please share your thoughts on this. Should I get my attorney involved again?

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Ev - posted on 07/10/2013

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Little Miss-Just to clarify: In my state of Arkansas when my divorce and custody was set up it states in the visitation portion that no one not related by marriage or blood is allowed to live together in the house as far as the parents go. I know a lot of states have different things on their divorce and custody laws and what have you but I also know a few others that do have that in the custody thing automatically.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2013

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That is interesting Evelyn. Thanks for the info. Like I said, never heard of that before, but then again I have never lived in Arkansas.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/10/2013

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If your settlement is finalized, and he got the house, then you cannot dictate how he uses said abode, nor who lives in it.

The best you can hope for is to ask for an amendment to the custody/visitation settlement that would indicate that no gf/bf or SO (unless married) is allowed to reside in the abode while the child is in the custody of the parent in question.

But in all reality, do you honestly want to come off as that controlling and bitchy to your ex? After all, he's your EX. You don't really have a say in his life any more.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2013

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Not everyone has that kind of agreement in a divorce settlement Evelyn. In fact, I have NEVER heard of this before you saying it.

Ev - posted on 07/10/2013

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But the one thing Little Miss has left out is that if its in the custody agreement and visitation agreement: No one who is not related/married to the parents should be cohabitating in said house or home. It is in my agreement and you can say something to his father about this but it has to also apply to you. I found out after the fact with my kids' dad and there was nothing I could do. But if I had known before hand, I would have told him he either better be married to the woman or not have her live in his house.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2013

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In the long run, what he does in his life is no longer your business UNLESS his actions are placing your child in direct danger. His relationships and the house are not your concern any longer.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2013

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Your attorney cannot do a thing if the settlement is done and the house is his. If it has not been finalized, you can contest it and probably place an agreement to sell it. Your lawyer cannot do a thing about the girlfriend, and chances are if your ex and his gf are at this point, they will move in together regardless of the house situation.

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