divorce

Emily - posted on 01/15/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi I'm 22 married gonna be going threw a divorce I'm the only parent caring for my kids I buy what they need rent food etc the father don't come around we bin separated not legally but living in different homes and he has only seen my kids 3 times and once had to pay him to see his daughter on her birthday then my other daughters birthday no text call nothing he hasn't seen them since he's not on there birth record so how likely am I to get full custody and just not have him in there lives at all because the in and out is gonna hurt them in the end and I do not want that plus I wanna start a new life in a new state to better my kids life?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

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Yep, that's exactly why it needs to go to court. He won't "see" the necessity of taking responsibility until you show him that you're not going to back down about it. And, when he's given a set, court ordered support amount, it may prompt him to stick to a better visitation schedule.

Good luck!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

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Which is why you need to get it set through the courts. Neither of you has the right to dictate to the other how the time with the children will be spent. Neither of you has the right to dictate frequency of visits, etc.

It is best to go though the courts so that you both have guidelines that were set by a neutral party.

You don't just get to dictate terms to him because you are the mom. That's not how that works.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

13,254

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Your best course of action is to get custody, visitation, and support set through the courts.

You will not be able to say that you want to deny him his rights to know his children. He will be able to ask for visitation and possibly split custody. And, neither of those will have anything to do with court ordered support. They are separate issues.

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Emily - posted on 01/16/2014

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It all comes down to I love my kids and just want the best for them. I want him in there life I do but I don't want him hurting them in the end when he starts a new life and forgets about them like he did with his other kids. I'm not mad at him I don't love him I just want my girls to know there dad and him be there but if he won't I don't want it to hurt them by coming and going. Thank u for your feed back I really appreciate it.

Emily - posted on 01/16/2014

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Iv never denied him the rights to our kids iv begged him to come see them multiple times I've tried to get ahold of him to come see them he refuses to it n the last time he did he told my kids he would never see them again n then denied them after that called them names and talked bad about them just because ur mad at the other parent u shouldn't ever do that. My kids forgot his face when he came to see them my youngest had no idea who he was n screamed when he tried to hold her that killed me inside n I told him he needed to come around more but still refused to he thinks its my job to support them in every way and to take them to him he feels as if he has no responsibility so I started to look into closer places so they could b closer to him but he still had a problem with it his parents see our kids more than him n that hurts bad.

Emily - posted on 01/16/2014

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More than likely he won't ask if he wants them he can have th em but I won't allow him to come n go as he pleases for my kids sake

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