Divorce and co-parenting with a abuser

Kathy - posted on 04/10/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son of 22 lives with his estranged father, he lies and manipulates, im liberal and he disagree with my way of living, thinking, feeling and behaving. My sweet son at times behaves as Dr. Hyde. I just dont like to see my beautiful son, bitter, angry, stress, worry and etc., I just wish my ex-husband grow up and forget his pain and only worry for the happiness of our son, his our responsabity, not the other way around, he shouldnt carry any burden, if my ex stops with all the abuse.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/11/2016

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1) If he's LIVING with his father, then his father is NOT estranged.
2) If he's 22 YEARS OLD, he's an adult, and can not only choose his residence, but also choose who he wants in his life. This may be tough for you, but you need to live with his choices.
3) EVERYONE thinks their child is the most perfect, sweetest, well mannered and well behaved human being on the earth. This is not always true. It is likely that your son's mannerism's haven't changed that much, but that you are noticing different mannerisms than you approve of because he's (GASP) living with his father now.

Bottom Line: Your son is an ADULT, who is capable of making his own residence choices.

Jodi - posted on 04/10/2016

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Your son is 22. He isn't your responsibility anymore - he is an adult. He is responsible for himself. Perhaps you should be encouraging your son to live on his own and become independent.

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Dove - posted on 04/10/2016

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If your son is 22... he is an adult and is no longer the responsibility of either of you to parent. Granted, you will always be his parents and always want the best for him and to help him when absolutely necessary... but he is the one that needs to make the choices in life to better himself and his situation.

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