Divorce w a baby

Susie - posted on 09/23/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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don't know what advice to give but I am looking for advice myself. I have been married for 7 years and throughout my marriage I have experienced domestic abuse. I have stayed in the marriage because I did love my husband. He had employment issues throughout our marriage and I bring a lawyer be trade i support the both of us. For years my husband said he would get help for the violence. He claimed I provoked him and emotionally and verbally abused him. To some extent I might have. I slowly grew to hate him as the years passed. Then we decided to have a baby. At that time the violence had stopped and I believes having a child would bring us together. It did not. The violence continued and with having a baby I become more depressed. My husband then started video taping me when we would argue and threaten to use it against me to gain full custody of our 9 month old child. I finally saw a lawyer today. Still I hope he changes but I am scared sad and insecure

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Susie - posted on 09/24/2013

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Thanks you Lisa for your message. It is comforting knowing that there are kind people like yourself who can provide support. I think that is one thing that I need more of. Knowing that I can do this and that I am making the right decision.

I do have my families support, but aside from them I have not told any of my friends.

I can't leave the house bc of my son. I spoke to a lawyer and unless my husband agrees that I can leave and take him somewhere else I can not do much. The violence has stopped so there is no way I can get him out of the house either.

The funny thing is the house is mine. My parents bought it for me prior to getting married. The names on title were my parents any myself. In 2011 my parents removed their names and left my name only. So now my house that has over 200k of equity, half will go to him. And to top it all off I earn double than he does so I will be paying spousal support.

The more I write this for people to read I do not know how I got myself into this situation. I do not know how I became so insecure.

Majority of our marriage issues stem from family. Neither of us like each others families at all. My husband's brother was engaged and the bride to be called it off bc of mother in law. His brother then got married to another girl and after 5 years got a divorce. My sister in law left bc of my mother in law.

Now my marriage is ending not only bc of the past violence but a lot of it fr his family influence. His mother is very controlling and always supports her son no matter what he does to me.

This whole situation is such a mess it makes me feel so sick inside.

[deleted account]

You are doing the right thing. You must get your child and yourself to safety. Don't believe for a minute that you are responsible in any way for this man's abuse. That's what abused people always think - that they caused it somehow. There is no excuse for his abuse.
Can you find support and help nearby? You may want to look into a support groups for battered women.
You might find something helpful on my blog. Prayers for you.
Love,
Lisa
http://www.susannasapron.com/2013/08/sho...

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