Divorded spending 99% of the time w steady man. Can it damage custody?

Emily - posted on 01/08/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have been divorced for 2 years after a 3 years separation. I have an 8 year old son. I have been dating a man for a while and althought I have not moved in with him (in spite of him asking many times), I spend 99% of the time in his place. I still own my house with all my furniture, clothes, my son's room, etc. I have double of everything. My ex-husband has now filed in court for a violation of the court order that I have moved without giving him a 30 day notice. My official address is still my place - all my bills and mail still goes to my place - not his. My ex-husband's girlfriend lives with him since the day I moved out the residential home 5 years ago. Irony! Now, I have to go to court. Should I for the time I have my son, come back completely to my own home? I feel pushed around.

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Jodi - posted on 01/08/2016

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I think whether you moved or not is just a technicality. If you are spending 99% of your time at this other house (and if it 99% of your time, I'm assuming you guys sleep there every night), then really, be honest with yourself - you've moved. You just haven't done it officially. You might get in trouble if he can prove that you pretty much live there.

With regard to your ex living with his girlfriend - that's not what he is taking you to court for. If your boyfriend moved with you into YOUR house, you wouldn't be having this issue. He's not taking you to court about the boyfriend.

I'm sorry you feel pushed around....but your have a court order. You need to follow it - your ex is not pushing you around if you aren't following it, he is simply enforcing what you both agreed to. If you don't like what is in your court order, then you need to go back to court and have it changed.

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Dove - posted on 01/08/2016

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Ah... I didn't take the 99% thing literally. I figured she still slept at home some of the time. You ladies are more right than I was. ;)

Michelle - posted on 01/08/2016

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I agree with Jodi, just because you still have your bills and mail going to your house doesn't mean that it's your primary place of residence. You have said you are at your boyfriends place 99% of the time so that's now your primary place of residence and that is against your court orders if you haven't informed your ex of the move.
Also like Jodi said, he's not taking you to court because you have a boyfriend, it's because you have a new primary place of residence and haven't informed him. So even though "technically" you haven't moved you really have.

Dove - posted on 01/08/2016

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If you haven't moved... you aren't yet violating the order, so your lawyer should be able to explain that to the judge.. But if your son is spending any time sleeping at the boyfriend's place... you may want to stop that now, give your ex the address (so he can't say he isn't aware of where his son will be sleeping), and wait until after your court date (and see what the results are from that) before doing any further 'sleepovers' there when your son is w/ you.

No one can really predict what a judge will or will not rule. You'll just have to wait and see.

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