Do I get out or how do I tolerate disrespectful teens?

JoAnna - posted on 08/23/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been with my husband for 7 years (married 3). He has full custody of his 3 kids from a previous marriage. He received full custody of the 3rd when the child was only a yr. The mother of these kids is a total loser. Never showed up to the court cases to fight for her children; has never paid child support stated on court orders and never calls or makes effort to see them and involved with drugs and jail frequently. Therefore the youngest believes I am his mother and thats how we've kept it so far. Recently as the 2 older kids have grown into their teen years (his daughter is 16 and oldest son is 13) we have encountered issues that I feel have broken the straw off the camel's back for me. There have been other situations that have happened prior up to now that I've dealt with and dealt with, but with finding out his daughter having sex in my home and his son telling the mother's side of the family incomplete statements or lies of me I've grown to really really not like/care about them. I've recently expressed my feelings to their father/my husband and he gets defensive and accuses me of being in the wrong. I've have gotten to a point where I want out, but feel bad because that would mean I would break up 'our' family(by this I mean we have a son together). He won't hear me out and I feel he is not engaged enough to settle the matter, but rather sweep it all under the rug. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I don't think I can take any more disrespectful teen years any longer. Help.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2012

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Well, that is a really shitty attitude to say "our" family only referring to you, the youngest and the husband. I think that is where the problem lies and you don't even realize it. Chances are you treat the youngest like he is yours, but don't treat the other two with the same feelings and love. Sit down and talk with these kids. It sounds like they are having a difficult time, and need some guidance, not someone ditching them. They are teenagers, and teenagers are difficult to begin with, then add a mother who is in and out of jail and a druggie on top of it can make life really hard.



I am a step kid. I know what it is like to not be treated the same or fairly. Family counseling may be your key to saving your ENTIRE family. You fell in love with this man and married into his family, if you want them all, you have to work at it as a full family. Not just broken pieces of one.

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Paula - posted on 07/01/2013

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Jo-Ann Im so glad I found this site and read your Blog!! Yes, Ive told Myself I want out! and Need to get away from the Kids Period! Ive been feeling really bad and actually crying about it. I have Grown to really dislike my husbands daughter of 14.Shes rubbing off on my 15 yr old daughter, the Walking around the House like they are queen Bitches and throwing this vibe as they dont have to listen or do anything we tell them!. Like there crap dont stink. Well I do tell them "Your Crap Stinks!" (LITERALLY)
Ive gotton to the point where I really dont want to be around them!! The Added stress is really taking a toll on me and I recently told my husband He need to take me on a very long trip! Am I Losing my Mothering.? Im going Crazy because I dont want to Hate on them but Im feeling I am!! Im at the end of my rope..

Kristin - posted on 08/23/2012

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What else do you expect from teenagers! They are disrespectful. and do stupid things. .don't you remember what its like.

with the town having sex in your house, that's where terms have sex, in this homes. sit and talk with her about the facts of life and the repercussions of her actions with sex. I'm know you don't like it, but she's not going to stop just because it makes you angry.

with the step son, who cares. why do you care what he says to his moms side. its not like its doing any harm other than that side thinking you are awful and they don't have any rights to him anyway.

my step son comes to me and tells me all the awful things his mom does while he is with her on the weekends. I don't believe half of it cause he is just a kid and I'm sure he's blowing up a lot of stuff that happens over there.

I have a son with my husband and he has two kids from a previous marriage. I think of bthem as my family and love then. of course it is natural to feel different towards your step kids vs. your own child but family is family. you married your husband knowing his kids so houseguests then all. you have to change your thinking. you come across like you don't consider them apart of you.

Dove - posted on 08/23/2012

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No, she said she shares a child with him too.... I think that means there are 4 kids total? I apologize if I'm wrong here. Other than that.... I agree with every word you said. :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/23/2012

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Dove, reread it. That is not her bio child either. They are all his biologically. She is a step parent to them all.

Dove - posted on 08/23/2012

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What would you do if your biological son was the teen in this situation? What would your husband do if the biological son you share together was the teen in this situation? The answer to those questions would be the answer to how I would advise you to proceed. Good luck!

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