do i have to let my babys dad have him overnight

Gemma - posted on 07/14/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my son is 7weeks old and his dad is on his birth certificate and we have just split up. he wants to have him overnight. i waswondering if i have to let him.

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Ev - posted on 07/14/2013

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Jodi brought up one issue you have not answered: Are you breast feeding the baby? If you are an over night is not going to work as he will need to feed. What you need to do then is establish visits at a time of the day where dad can come see his child for a couple of hours or so between feeds and then you could nap or something while dad sees his child too. As Jodi also said, lawyers are needed to set visitation and custody and child support.

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2013

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Ok, you aren't together any more - he has in the past relied on you to get up. He can't do that anymore, so that's irrelevant. What happened when you were together, unless he was abusive toward the child, is irrelevant.

it is also irrelevant that your argument is you "don't think you want to be without him for that long". Put the shoe on the other foot. Maybe your ex doesn't want to be without him for that long either? Or even better, what if you child doesn't want to be without either of you for that long? Can you see why your reasoning probably won't cut it?

Gemma - posted on 07/14/2013

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i havn't said he cant see him i said he could have him one night a week to start with but he wants him for two but i'm not sure i want to be without him for that long. he has stayed at his mums for a night due to going to a wedding. I'm the one that does most things for the baby. I get up every night with him and he generally stays in bed until dinner time every day.

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2013

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Well, you don't have to if there is no court order telling you to, but he could fight this. If you are breastfeeding, it wouldn't be seen as in your child's best interests. However, if you are not breastfeeding and you refuse any contact, it won't look good for you. You don't necessarily have more rights than he does just because you are the mother. It comes down to the child's interests, and courts these days believe it is in a child's best interests to have a relationship with both parents. It may be an idea to get a lawyer and arrange court ordered visitation.

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