do i have to let my children be around their suicidal, pregnant step mom?

Holly - posted on 01/13/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My chidren's step mother came here from another country. She knows very little English, and is now pregnant. My ex and I are still good friends, and he often tells me about his new wife's emotional outbursts. She has threatened suicide MANY times! She often runs out in the street in the middle of the night...Anyway, none of that is my concern. My only concern is that due to her unstable emotional outbursts, it is not safe for my children to be around her. My ex hardly ever sees the kids, but when he wants to take them out to lunch or shopping, the step mom always has to go too. My children are not allowed to be alone with him, because according to what he has told me, she wants to make sure that he will not love our children more than he will love the new baby. Also, when they are all out together, she is very clingy with him, and it makes my children feel uncomfortable. I do have sole custody, and the children don't have to have these visits. But I let them go anyway, because he has worked hard to get caught up on child support. So, I guess I am just wondering if I am out of line for requesting he leaves new wife at home when he is with our children? Thanks!!

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Jodi - posted on 01/13/2013

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Your children are not alone with her either, by the sounds of it. So I think you should leave it alone, they are not in any danger. If you are in good communication with your ex about it, rather than messing with the visitation, suggest his wife get some emotional support and counselling. If she is from another country, chances are she knows no-one, and this would explain why she is so clingy. I think you need to look at it a little from her perspective, and realise that she is not doing this deliberately. it doesn't help that you and her husband are obviously criticising her behind her back. Perhaps you could try to befriend her instead of condemning her? She sounds like she could use a friend.

Dove - posted on 01/13/2013

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Honestly... unless you have a court order for him having visitation I would tell him that he is welcome to see the kids any time he wants, but not with her. I'd also be documenting EVERYTHING he says about her in case he ends up taking you to court for visitations.

If he does have court ordered visitations... I'd be documenting everything and seeing if there is anything my lawyer could do to keep her at a distance.

If you get along well with your ex maybe suggest that she get some counseling.. ??

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Holly - posted on 01/14/2013

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Well, I'm not going to be friends with her, but I am civil to her. She has lots of friends and they live with her mom. I think the issues I have with her (and my ex) go way beyond her emotional status, but those are things I have to let go of:(. I think after everything that we've all been thru, all of us could use some counseling! lol-
Bottom line is the kids, though. And you are right, I should leave it alone... Thanks for your advice! You made me feel much better:)

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