do i have to let my mother in law see my daughter all the time even if she is mean and doesnt respect me?
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Jodi - posted on 07/08/2012
Louise makes a good point. I just assumed you and the father were still together because you caller her the mother-in-law :)
However, having though more about this, where is your daughter's father in all of this? Why is HE allowing his mother to treat you like this? I think perhaps you need to discuss this with him too.
Louise - posted on 07/08/2012
If you are separated from the blood father then no. He can take her to see the child on his days with her. If you are married then she can come and see you or the other way around on your terms. If you dont get along then dont visit often. She will soon get the message that nastiness equals long time between visits!
The grandmother has no rights to your child, so if she cant be nice, snub her. If you think she is undermining your relationship with your child then, I would not take her.
On the other hand if the grandmother is nice to your daughter then she should not be denied a relationship with her. You are a grown woman and can understand the ways of the world your child does not!
Brittany - posted on 07/08/2012
Well in some aspects I agree with Jodi, however, if the disrespect is being passed onto your daughter and it could harm your relationship with her - than no, I would not continue to allow my daughter to visit. I think it really depends on how she is disrespecting you.
Corinne - posted on 07/08/2012
I think you and your M.I.L need to have a chat. Tell her that she's making you feel like you don't want your daughter to have a relationship with her, as she is showing you how mean and disrespectful she can be. Is she mean with your daughter too, or just you? Would your M.I.L let her child be with someone who behaved like that? I know how hard it is. I let my M.I.L treat me like crap for 6.5yrs, then my husband saw and heard for himself how she was with me and asked her why. It ended with her saying she wants nothing more to do with us, which is sad for the kids.
Jodi - posted on 07/08/2012
So because you don't like her, your daughter doesn't have a right to a relationship with her? If you ask the question about your daughter's rights, rather than how you feel, then you really SHOULD come to the conclusion that your daughter has the right to get to know her grandmother.
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Katina - posted on 07/08/2012
Thankyou all for taking the time to reply, yes im married my husband doesnt like the way she treats me and has tried to tell her before that she is upsetting me and she just flies off the handle. And i do agree with you jodi she does have the right to get to know my daughter, it just is upsetting that it has to be this way. When my daughter was born we were letting her come over when ever she wanted to. But then she started acting out of line and thats when my husband approached her about it and it hasn't been the same since. Don't get me wrong she still see's my daughter, just not every day. We have tried talking to her but it doesn't seem to fix anything. Now things are very awkward and when she comes over i try to leave the room so she can have some one on one with my daughter so i don't make it uncomfortable for her. I have tried to be fair so many times and she just takes advantage of it. And i understand she is the grandmother, thats why i'm finding it so hard as to how to go about it. She isn't mean to my daughter, but she doesn't listen to or value any of my opinions so i feel sick to my stomach leaving her with her. I guess i feel torn at times as to what to do. When i was little i had a grandmother who was so mean to my mum and my mother never denied her of seeing me, i got to stay over whenever i wanted. But as i got older i saw the way she treated my mum and i found it hard staying over when i knew she was so mean to my mum. I guess what im trying to say is should i just grin and bear it?
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