do I have to let my sons father see him if he is not on the birth cert

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/15/2015

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"I know many moms who use their children as pawns wish u would not have taken your extra energy into assuming i was one of them"~~No one assumed anything, nor did anyone accuse you of being one of those moms. You were told, in very non judgmental terms, that you have to allow the child to have a relationship with his father.
"Well ladies I tried the site unfortunately u guys r wrong" ~~And how, exactly is that? We gave you the correct answer to your question.
"And unfortunately for my son his father is not a positive influence nor a tax payer nor has had a job in his entire life but has accumulated many many expensive materialistic things and has a ridiculouse amount of money made from the demise of other people. Since you guys are so intuative I'm sure u can figure out what he does. But u know at the end of the day my son is happy healthy and is going to b just fine because I am such a strong independent woman who puts him first every second. Also didn't push his father to b in the birth certificate which he didn't want to sign because he thinks like u 2 women and figured i was just a low life who would go for child support and thought that by not signing it he wouldn't have to pay! But I believe in karma now he has no legal rights thank god and I don't care about money! Because I'm a person with integrity! "~~AH...So the REST of the story comes out...and it ends as usual: "I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR MY KID, Y'ALL ARE STUPID AND DON'T KNOW ME AND MY SITUATION"...LMAO!

Honey, I really hate to burst your little bubble, but...if the man can prove paternity, he's got every single right in the world to have a relationship with his child. If you are withholding the child because of what you think is 'best'...think again, because that can and will cause Karma to come back on you.
Now, if you have LEGALLY gone to court, and gotten orders relieving him of any parental rights, that is different, but I'm not sensing that here.

But, per usual...You don't want to hear the truth, you just want everyone to say "Oh, Shantell, you poor little thing, of COURSE it is ok for you to play like your child is your possession and keep him away from his father"...But honey, ya ain't getting that here.

Michelle - posted on 08/14/2015

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Why would deny your child a relationship with his Father? Your son is NOT a possession for you to decide who can and can't see him though. You have made a child with this man and you will have to co parent for the next 20+ years.
Best get yourself a lawyer and establish custody, visitation and child support.

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Dove - posted on 08/15/2015

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Dude... I love the women who put one liner posts and expect us to be magical mind readers.... and then come back and throw a fit like a 2 year old when we answer 'incorrectly'... lol That's so much fun....

It doesn't matter what kind of scum your ex is... he IS your child's father and your CHILD has a moral right to know the man. If he's scum... you probably shouldn't have chosen to procreate w/ him.

And I say that as a mother of 3 kids who I really wouldn't be bothered if their father dropped off the face of the earth... but THEY love him... and they are my world, so I want them to have every opportunity possible to know the guy that half their being came from... even if 'I' can't stand him.

If your ex is a danger to your child... that's what court orders and supervised visits are for. Your child might thank you as an adult for keeping the father away... or your child might hate you for the rest of their life. It's really a toss up how that one will go in the future.

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2015

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Well we have to use our intuitions when you don't explain anything. All we had to go on was the title.
If you would like more tailored advice to your situation then let us know more about it. It's simple logic and most people would explain a bit before going off at those that have posted to such a vague post.
No, we are not wrong. It took 2 people to create a child and BOTH parents have rights unless the courts decide that 1 is unfit to be in the child's life. That's NOT your decision to make. This guy was good enough to have unprotected sex with but not good enough to be a parent?

Jodi - posted on 08/15/2015

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"u guys r wrong"
Actually, no we aren't. Both parents DO have rights, not just the mother.

"I know many moms who use their children as pawns wish u would not have taken your extra energy into assuming i was one of them."
Noone assumed anything. They gave factual responses. Clearly you have trouble comprehending if you are seeing people accusing you of using your child as a pawn. The rest of your response, however, indicates that you are indeed going to end up using your child as a pawn.

"his father is not a positive influence nor a tax payer nor has had a job in his entire life but has accumulated many many expensive materialistic things and has a ridiculouse amount of money made from the demise of other people."
I'm sorry, I'm missing how this is even relevant to his status as a father of your child and his rights with regard to that. What is your point?

"he thinks like u 2 women and figured i was just a low life who would go for child support and thought that by not signing it he wouldn't have to pay!"
Where the FUCK did anyone call you a low life, insinuate your were a low life or think you would go for child support? What is your problem? The fact is, you are entitled to child support whether he is on the birth certificate or not!

"But I believe in karma now he has no legal rights thank god and I don't care about money!"
Child support and custody are actually two entirely separate issues. Whether he pays child support or not, whether he is currently on the birth certificate or not, if he CHOOSES to pursue it, he actually DOES still have rights. If you don't have a court order, he could claim those rights anytime he chooses.

Lady, you seriously need help if you think those first two posts were insulting to you. They were answering your question with straight up facts. Maybe you struggle as much with your comprehension skills as you do with your spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Have a happy life.

Sarah - posted on 08/15/2015

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@ Shatell: you say
"Well ladies I tried the site unfortunately u guys r wrong"
Was this a test? You asked a question on a parenting information website and you got three logical, properly punctuated (thanks ladies) articulate answers. It may not become an immediate issue but your son's father can petition to establish paternity and pursue visitation or custody. You don't own your child like a handbag, he is a human being. By not putting his father on the birth certificate you actually committed fraud. I am curious what answer you expected?
You are both equally obligated to financially provide for your son as well as entitled to parent your son. Interfering with proper documentation of your child's paternity does not help anyone. In fact, by not naming the father, if he were to pass away your son would not be entitled to death benefits etc.

[deleted account]

O and also i don't collect a check I work! I pay taxes I love my son I love myself and respect other single moms who do the same

[deleted account]

Well ladies I tried the site unfortunately u guys r wrong and I know many moms who use their children as pawns wish u would not have taken your extra energy into assuming i was one of them. And unfortunately for my son his father is not a positive influence nor a tax payer nor has had a job in his entire life but has accumulated many many expensive materialistic things and has a ridiculouse amount of money made from the demise of other people. Since you guys are so intuative I'm sure u can figure out what he does. But u know at the end of the day my son is happy healthy and is going to b just fine because I am such a strong independent woman who puts him first every second. Also didn't push his father to b in the birth certificate which he didn't want to sign because he thinks like u 2 women and figured i was just a low life who would go for child support and thought that by not signing it he wouldn't have to pay! But I believe in karma now he has no legal rights thank god and I don't care about money! Because I'm a person with integrity! Good bye circle of moms, I was looking forward to building up moms who needed support and was looking for the same in return. Cannot believe those were the first 2 comments I get when putting my family issue out here. Thank you. I have everything I need right here in front of me. And I feel bad for you guys, assumption and judgement will come back on you 10fold

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/14/2015

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Short answer: YES. If the man is the child's biological father, he has the right to be a parent and see his child. He's got the same rights as you do, in that regard.

Jodi - posted on 08/14/2015

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Short answer: Yes you do.

Long answer: Contact a lawyer and organise court orders for custody and visitation. The child has a father and the child has a right to a relationship with his father. You don't get to call all the shots unless you have a court order saying you can. In fact, if you decide NOT to allow the father and child to have a relationship, and the father WANTS to be active, you could end up losing custody because you will have demonstrated parental alienation.

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