Do I hold on or let go?

Gaby - posted on 11/20/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm a single mother of a three boys. Discovering that I have been in denial about my feelings about my ex (father of my boys). I broke up with him, but we have been on and off for the last 7 years. Last year I said it was enough, decided to "break up"... now here we are again same place, except he is now saying he doesn't foresee a future with me but loves me. He is seeking help for some emotional issues, but I discovered he has been seeing a woman. Spoke to her while he was at my home, and I let him stay. I am confused and lost. I thought I had control over me, and now I find myself trying to control him and our outcome. Is it jealousy, is it love, what is it? He will not tell me that what he wants. I told him that he can not have another person while being with me, he said he doesn't owe it to me. He's resentful and he admits it. My gut is telling me that he's using me, that he is enjoying this. But when he holds me and he's calm he says all the right things, and I believe him. I'm confused and lost, anyone out there that has gone through something familiar?

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[momoftwo] - posted on 11/20/2013

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If he started seeing that woman AFTER you two got back together... Well I can see why she would be upset about that. But I still say go with your gut and leave.

Amy - posted on 11/20/2013

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You broke up with him but now your mad that he's seeing someone else? Move on it's clearly not a healthy relationship for either of you and it sounds like both if you are too emotionally immature for a relationship.

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Mario - posted on 11/23/2013

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life is a journey remember ?since you know he is seeing someone else and he is proud of it my dear just take a walk and make sure you take good care of your boys

Gaby - posted on 11/20/2013

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Thanks ladies, I appreciate the advice. That instinct/gut feeling is getting stronger. The mind is what I need to control now.

Leela - posted on 11/20/2013

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Run don't walk. And yes, this is from experience. It's a vicious cycle and your life will go nowhere waiting for him.

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/20/2013

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I hate break ups, I really do. But I think it's time to go your separate ways. I was in a situation like that before but it was me toying with my ex's mind just because I was scared of change and didn't want to be alone but it wasn't fair for him and I to go through it so I kicked him out (for other reasons too) and now I'm happy with someone else.
I think you are scared of change as well because you have been on and off for 7 years which is a pretty long time. He needs to be alone and get his life figured out as well. If you really love someone, you just KNOW it. You don't have to stop and think and be all confused. You two need to split up, have some heal time, and then go out and find your soul mate when you're ready.

Brittany - posted on 11/20/2013

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I think he is using you. You are a strong, beautiful woman that's raising beautiful babies!!!! You deserve to find real true love with a man that finds true happiness with you and you alone!!!!!!!! Don't give into his crap anymore go get involved in a activity where you can meet new people and find your true love. I hope this helps you make your decision.

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