Do I make my Step Daughter a bridesmaid??

Michelle - posted on 07/02/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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She will be 17 for the wedding. My fiancé said it is up to me. She does not live with us & wants to spend very little time with us. When she is around, her and I get along fine but she is disrespectful, rude and mean to her father - typical teenager. I want ladies I can rely on, who know me, who won't complain, who can fulfill their duties as part of my bridal party. Sadly, my future SD doesn't fit those. As much as I have grown to care for her... I can't trust her to be on time, to be reliable for bringing anything, to help plan, to keep the dress appropriate (she would make it more revealing), or to even WANT to be there (besides obligation). I also don't want to burden my girls with more expenses since she won't have money (as she has no desire to get a job thanks to her mother) and my fiancé and I are saving for the wedding and budgeting tightly. I want to include her because she is my fiancé's daughter. Help!

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Michelle - posted on 07/02/2014

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Thanks Evelyn! I think it's a great idea to talk to her... She really might just not care one way or the other and would rather not have the responsibilities. Or if she was excited to be in it, that would be awesome for all of us! Thanks :)

Ev - posted on 07/02/2014

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You do nto have to have her be a bridesmaid or in the wedding party. If she is that unreliable then so be it. Your fiance has also said that it was up to you and as the bride it is your choice. But you will come into backlash about it if she is not by both the girl and her mother. What you might want to do is to sit down and talk to her about this and tell her what is expected of her in terms of being a bridesmaid, what time she has to be places, and that it is important to you that she pull her weight as a bridesmaid. If she is unsure when she answers you or acts like like "Yeah I can" but has that attitude of whatever, then do not have her be that. She could sit by the book you have the guests sign or cut the cake after you two initially do the cake cutting. Find her another part of the venue to help with.

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